Call Me Text Me Page Me

Wait, don’t do any of those things. I hate phones. But feel free to email me!

And here’s the FB page. I encourage you to upload photos of your feet there. Or pictures of oatmeal. Or your dog.


Aaaand due to recent peer pressure, Twitter:


48 thoughts on “Call Me Text Me Page Me

  1. I cannot describe the joy that finding your blog just brought to me! You are hysterical. As a person who has recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia as well as chronic fatigue syndrome myself, I applaud you for finding the humor in life’s curveballs!! Glad to know I am not alone and I am not “making it up” or “over exaggerating my symptoms.” Just awesome! Thank you!


  2. I just randomly found your blog, and clicked on it simply because I love the title. I, too, have fibromyalgia. I’ve actually been having some weird symptoms lately that have been worse than I’ve had in several years, and I just needed the laughter your site title brought. :) Praying you’re feeling well today! Thanks for sharing some joy … Nalani Jones

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mary,
    I will be praying for you. Though bummed to hear you’re in pain, great to hear your humor. You certainly have a way of bringing a ray of light through the clouds. I hope tomorrow is better.


  4. I have been reading your blog and i absolutely love it!! You are so funny and insightful!! U go girl!! Ive been diagnosed with fibromyalgia too, so I know how it is. Keep on trucking girlfirend and please keep writing! Loved your last post!


  5. My wife shared your blog with me a few months ago, b/c I have a fractured vertebrae, part of it missing, bulging/cut disc and a lot of pain. Your words and experience resonated with me and helped my wife better understand what I was going through… physically and mentally.
    Last week, my Dr told me that he thinks that I have fibromyalgia. I will continue to read your blog and look for any guidance from this community on how to live as healthy as possible.


  6. Mary you are a gifted humorist. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I’ve laughed so much reading your writing.


  7. I, like many others stumbled upon your blog with your “fb post” – bookmarked your site and have been coming back ever since. You truly have a gift and I enjoy your writing immensely. So sorry that you have such debilitating health issues – but so very glad that you have truly turned lemons into lemonade with your writing. Don’t stop! I hope that eventually you publish in other places too – the internet could use some more of your caliber of writing. Wishing you healthier days for 2012 from a chronic pain person (hate the word sufferer!)


  8. Just read your “Thanks, I’ll try that” post…Just wanted to commiserate, bc I had cancer this year, and “helpful” people made many of the same comments to me…My favorite was when a few people suggested I stop chemo altogether and go with Suzanne Somers’ approach to survival…and yes, while SS did apparently “cure” her cancer with a holistic approach, I neither have SS’s resources nor would my 6 and 7 year old daughters appreciate this less than proven method…Keep on writing!


    1. Haha, I will. Thanks for sharing your experience. I wish you health and happiness in 2012. And I hope you’ll be back. In my whole experience, nothing has felt as good as laughter :)


  9. Now that all that unpleasentness is out of the way, I absolutely LOVE your blog! I don’t remember exactly how I found it but I think it’s wonderful. The way you write is so easy to relate to, it’s almost just a strain of consciousness that my always-distracted ADHD brain actually keeps up with. I love it. Keep on doing what you’re doing and I agree 100% – you’re here to do something that doesn’t involve A&P!


  10. Hey… I just pass around and I like what I read… is fantastic… I like the poetry, and I like the way that you write… I think that is cool, and simple… the way that you expres yourself… (forget my bad english, I´m not an native of USA)… you have humor, irony, and some picardy… is funny the way you write… is cool find people tha makes a good job and good literature in some way… keep writing… I will continue read you… if you want to read something that I´ve writte… this is my blog…… as you can see… is in spanish… I hope that you pass on an read something… Have a good … nice to read you mary :)


  11. “serendipity” – yes, i stumbled upon your blog while scheduling my plans for Mardi Grass 2012 . I started with your blog Pros and Cons .. and was about to comment .. “Dude it doesnt matter if you come over to India, always stay with your family..” ..but i disovered that the quotes are from a “Babe ;)” . Read through the episodes of your life , checked for cure on ayurveda all I could get was these [ Avoid Eating hot, spicy and fried foods, sweets, foods like brinjal, cabbage, Cauliflower, spinach, broccoli, okra and potatoes.
    Too much tea, coffee, alcohol, white sugar, yogurt, chocolate, cocoa. Sleeping during the day and staying up late at night Mental tensions like worry, anxiety, fear, stress and grief ] and best diets are [Vegetable juices and soups. Coconut water and Coconut milk. Juice of carrot, Cucumber, Beetroot. Cooked vegetables like squash, zucchini and pumpkin . Spices like cumin, coriander, ginger asafetida, garlic, fennel and turmeric.
    Green salad with a dressing of lemon juice and a little salt.Khichadi (recipe made by cooking rice and mung dal, 1:1 or 1:2 proportion) ] .
    Keep writing , since you have Netflix , watch “Peaceful Warrior”.
    Take Care
    from a Pretty Brown Guy ..I will be back…astalavistala baby..


  12. i have to be honest.. while your comments and stories are witty and touching, it was the broad headline of your pill consumption that caught my interest. i wish i went to france. i wish i had chosen journalism over art history. i wish i had a cool dog like monty. but my cat coco is pretty f-ing cool. stay so funny… and yeah, white.


  13. I think you’re fucking brilliant.

    And someone needs to be paying you a lot of money for what you Do.

    Because it is Awesome.

    The end.

    P.S. Thank you for your words.


  14. First few things I read were funny as sh*t…so I subscribed. Looking forward to being entertained further. Sucks about your sickness…awesome you can joke about it.


  15. Just saw your blog. I’m a 26 year old law student recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I am getting tested for lyme disease this week. I am on an array of medicine as well. Would love to know what, if anything, works for you. Also, wanted to let you know that you are not alone dealing with chronic pain and that even 26 year olds take a ton of pills to make it through the day, like I do. I thought I was the only one this young in chronic pain but I guess not. Very happy I found your website!


  16. That dude can REALLY paint a picture. I envisioned what he was wearing and he was impatiently running his hands through his hair while ranting. Wait. Maybe I’m just thinking of The Firm with Tom.


  17. Been in law school, so I feel qualified to make the following observation:

    All his life, the writer’s parents, family, teachers, neighbors, etc, told him how smart he was, what a bright future he had, yada yada yada. After 20+ years, he began to believe his own press. Thus, the diarrhea of the keyboard. Just wait until a judge/senior partner gets hold of him and reminds him there are a LOT more where he came from.
    Just sayin’.


    1. U sound sad… What’s the first languages of humen race? Hoo ! sorry forgot that you white= idiocracy. they only living by the machin. What would you do if you know that facebook is about to erase.

      عليك أن تذهب وتغسل فمك ، لأنها ليست نظيفة وقذرة والخمسين… I have hear that you speak Arabic.

      عليك that one mean slag lol


      1. hahahahahaha! Nice… You calling us white people idiots yet you don’t even know how to use a translator. Go google it.

        And ha ha! here’s what I just said in arabic: hahahahahaha! لطيفة… قمت بالاتصال بنا أبيض الناس أغبياء حتى الآن كنت لا تعرف حتى كيفية استخدام مترجم. See what I did there?

        FUCKING LEARN ENGLISH if you’re going to post on an english blog.

        douchebag – that one mean DOUCHEBAG lol

        سخيف تعلم الإنجليزية إذا كنت تريد الذهاب لآخر على بلوق الإنجليزية.

        douchebag — يعني أن واحدا DOUCHEBAG لول



  18. Maybe you’re right Charlie. Maybe I need to seize life instead of waiting for death’s lustful embrace. He has a point. Guilt free peppermint mochas are the


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