I am in the middle of what people in the Biz call a ‘crash.’ Basically my muscles feel like jello, I have pain all over and I can barely keep my eyes open. It’s awesome!!! The only way to overcome a crash is to get horizontal and sleep for however long it takes. I’m on my 5th cup of coffee but if I blink for too long I could be in a deep sleep fast. I just need to hold on a little longer and push through because I have my second anatomy test in twenty minutes. After that, I can shut my brain and my body off and hopefully awake to something a little better.

I knew it was going to be a rough day when I awoke drenched in sweat after a sequence of high anxiety dreams. I pretty much always wake up at some point during the night or in the morning and need to change clothes. It’s really sexy. Anyway my muscle pain is relentless today as it was yesterday. Pretty much the only thing that helps is sitting in a bath, but there is no such thing as a portable bath tub so I’m kindof stuck. Almost through it though. I need to listen so some pump up music like MIchael Jackson. Or Sarah Mclaughlin.

I should be studying technically because I didn’t do so hot on my last quiz and my brain has felt really foggy all week. But it’s like it hits a certain point and then I can’t retain any more information. Sometimes I can’t even speak properly. It takes a really long time to find the right words and my memory? Forgettabout it. I definitely study better at night and I did as much as I could handle last night before seeing double and feeling the fog roll in. I am sitting in the sun on campus hoping it will give me natural energy. I took all kinds of vitamins today hoping it would boost me but basically I still feel like there is something sub-earth which is pulling me downwards. I’d like to kick whatever is doing that in the face. Not that I’d have the energy to BUT STILL. At least the migraine cycle broke. OK enough whining. WHAT ELSE.

My test is on bones and joints. There are 206 bones in the human body. Hmm that is all I can remember right now.This test should go great. I may sleep for the next 3 days, so see you when I see you.

One thought on “Crash

  1. One word or volumes of books cannot explain your pain and anguish. But you have braved it all and in the process have become an icon of hope and perseverance. May you get well real soon and get up one fine morning leaving everything in the list of illnesses behind you. They say miracles do happen. And if they do, please God let this one happen. Wish to see Mary shouting and yelling that its all behind her. Good luck dear. May you always find strength and comfort in everything you do (or don’t do).


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