Yesterday. It was yesterday.
It began like most of my mornings begin. My alarm went off at 7, and I snoozed for two hours and finally sludged out of bed at 9, hating myself because I only had 4 hours to cram for my A&P final when I really needed 6. I took my morning pills, drank 3 cups of coffee, and tried to jam every last bit of information regarding the regions of the brain and internal anatomy of the spinal cord. Dura Mater, Arachnoid Mater, Pia Mater. Yessss I still remember.
Then I made the hour drive to community college and blared the same music I’ve been singing at the top of my lungs on that drive. The Biebs, Gaga, Edward Sharp…you know. I took my test and think I did reasonably well. Which means I got anywhere from an F to an A. Then I made the hour drive back to my parents, blaring the music again and singing really loud.
When I got home I thought, maybe I’ll check on the ol’ blog and see how it’s doing. (Imagine me saying that like an old mid-western man.) I was beyond stunned when I saw that it had 60,000 hits. Beyond. I yelled and my mom came out to see about the ruckus. Then she said “I’ve read about this, I think it’s called ‘going viral.’ ” Then we all had a laugh because the thought of 60,000 people reading a silly observational post I made was just too much.
Then I watched it all unfold literally before my eyes, reading some of the funniest/weirdest comments I’d ever seen. What I could gather by 5:00 is “HOW COULD I FORGET TO PUT UP DUCKFACE” and that somehow this became a conversation about race, which really surprised me. If I would have known putting “white girl” in the title would cause such an upheaval, I would have left it out. Like Oprah says, When ya know better, ya do better. It’s just that my writing–but more importantly my humor– comes from a very real place. And everyday, I scroll through my homepage, and am bombarded with pictures of mostly white girls doing the things on that list. So that’s why I titled it what I did. Simply because that is my experience. What I can gather from the comments now though, is that these are trends from EVERY girl on Facebook, and even some boys too. So there you have it, we’re all idiots. So let’s all take a deep breath. In. And Out. Good.
The rest of the night was like any other. My parents put on Bill O’Reilly at 7. I yelled at the TV and they told me to be quiet. My mom forgot Monty is lactose intolerant and fed him some cheese, so for the next three hours we were all bombarded by the worst gas you can imagine. Monty of course, was unphased. By 8 we checked the numbers and couldn’t believe them. All we could do was laugh out of shock. My step-dad said “The internet…is crazy…” What I loved most is that it made people laugh, and that was all it was meant to do. By 9 my mom was watching the movie “Message in a Bottle” and I was laughing at Kevin Costner looking so serious in a turtle neck. I tried to study for my A&P LAB final which is Monday, but felt brain-dead. So I watched Kevin Costner…in a turtle neck.
My friend Emily called and said she was excited because now she had a friend that was a D-list celebrity! Haha, thanks Em. More like Z list. My friend Colby said “Write about a crippling illness, no one gives a shit. Write about Facebook, the world explodes.” Ain’t it the truth. Anyway, I couldn’t sleep so I read some more out of Marc Nepo’s book. And I’ll leave you all with the last thing I read.
“Those who truly love us will never knowingly ask us to be other than we are.”
Isn’t that beautiful? I thought so too.
Health, Happiness, and DUCKFACE.
FibroM.E.-Awesome 
anything funny about facebook will inevitably become a shared post by about 10% of your friends- especially if you are a white girl.
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you can thank pinterest. that’s where I stumbled on your creation. it’s brilliant – and I must say I’m guilty of about half. :)
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I agree with your comment about how posting about FB makes everyone go crazy. I posted about Social Media giving me ulcers and got more hits in a day then I have had ever. Now… keep in mind I typically don’t have more that 5 hits a day… But still. As soon as I read your “white girls” post… I immediately tweeted it. It was well worth it. Congrats!
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Sometimes people jump the gun and make comments based out of knee- jerk reactions instead of looking deeper into the context of what is being shared. I think it’s great that you addressed what some said regarding the title of your previous blog post, but honestly, I think it is more impressive that you admitted to not knowing how seriously some would take the title of your previous blog post. We will never be able to satisfy everyone’s idea of what is acceptable, but as long as you are honest with yourself and others, that is what I believe counts :)
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I enjoyed the White Girls thing – but honestly, I enjoyed today’s post more. You are obviously a lovely person full of humour and grace, and your folks sound awesome. Congratulations on becoming a Z list celeb, I am still waiting for my 15 seconds of fame. (How the world just gets faster and faster, eh?)
Have a look at my blog sometime. It’s way different to yours, but I hope you enjoy it. And I had a look at your poetry – heartfelt and interesting. As a fellow poet, I congratulate you and urge you to keep going!
Cheers, hang in there, keep munching the pills – Yolly
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I found you through freshly pressed and would like to add a comment of support. I read the Facebook post and thought it was great (I’m a white girl, social justice freak, feminist, and appreciator of funny shit), and couldn’t understand all the race stuff. If you can’t make fun of white girls who can you make fun of???
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My best friend has fibro, Endo, and a few other super fun health problems that keep her in near constant pain. It is SO awesome that your story is getting out there by the means of going viral with the FB post. In a backwards kind of way you are raising awareness and that is truly the best part of this whole thing. Love the blog, and looking forward to what’s ahead for you.
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Mary, I’m so glad I found your blog via Freshly Pressed (congrats; I loved reading your reaction here!). You’re wonderful, positively amazing by just being you, and that’s about it :) Blessings!
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You have a gift of writing, and your honesty is very refreshing. Thank you for sharing!
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So…one of my friends posted your “15 things” on facebook,and I loved it. I sent the link around my office and everyone else loved it too. Then one of my coworkers posted it on facebook, which sparked a bunch of reposts. I’m thinking that this happened in offices near and far! That night, on her way home from work on the streetcar, my coworker actually saw someone reading it on his I-phone, and overheard people talking about it. You really hit the nail on the head, Mary. Just like with all your writing (but you’re right, the masses respond best to facebook related subject matter). I spent yesterday reading your entire blog, and I love it. Your writing is jealousy inducing, dude. So talented! Love the poetry (I sent one of your poems around too, so maybe THAT will go viral).
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…and now the stats graph on your site visits is ruined forever. :P
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Your blog made the Parkinson Princess smile. Thanks,
Ms. Mastectomy
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http://birdabroad.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/what-to-do-if-your-blog-goes-viral-10-tips/
Read these, and keep on writing! :)
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‘ “Write about a crippling illness, no one gives a shit. Write about Facebook, the world explodes.” ‘ – This comment made me laugh. Oh it made me laugh. It made me slightly bitter. I am a blog writer who writes about breast cancer, scientific discoveries, and health. Why can’t I get this kind of explosion? Ha, maybe I should say facebook causes cancer or something haha.
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Awesome blog…you are quite a writer…if your college tests don’t go the way you’d like, you could always go pro here! Good luck, and keep it up!
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Hi. Like thousands of others, I found your blog from “White Girls Facebook Post” that circulated accordingly on Facebook. Afterwards, I spent an hour so reading your other entries, and I can say I’m hooked. You’ve officially reserved a tab in my favorites!
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Loved the post. We white girls can be re-donk. I also love looking at random peoples wedding photos… though for some reason I never posted my professional ones. One of my dearest friends was also a gymnast and started facing similar health problems at a young age. Namely at this point, immune dysfunction. Strange. I agree that Mark Nepo is brilliant and lovely. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, ideas, poetry, and photos. Keep up the (interesting!) and great work.
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Dude. I have fibromyalgia and I never talk about it because people are all judgy and assholish about it, and then I stumble on this and I want to squeeze your cheeks for being funny and awesome. Good work.
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I have just spent a good hour looking through and reading your blog posts (sounds creepy huh?) You are such an inspiring and amusing person! I love it!
Must add on a previous post you talked about looking at near strangers wedding pictures on facebook! I like a bit of good facebook stalking myself hehe
X
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Cool post! I wish I was hip enough to understand it!
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dağcılar mrb daha daha nasılsnız.
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So, I’m a white girl. And I’ve done most of those things from your Dec. 4 post on my FB. And dammit, I’m proud of it. ;) I don’t consider it racist, or otherwise; merely a humorous observation of the retardness that is our generation (I’m 27, too so I can say crap about our generation, God love us). But now, you have me hooked. You’re an AWESOME writer with a great sense of humor. Very funny post and I hope you kicked some exam ass. Good luck in your journey; I am looking forward to more.
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I’m loving your blog and your sense of humor… :)
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You are so awesome :D
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Your writing is amazingly witty and descriptive and as you can see by the reaction to your blog post, making fun of yourself is something we all need to do! In this day of political correctness craziness, your blog is a breath of fresh air! keep it up girl!!! hopefully you’ll use your special powers for good not evil :)
By the way- Hope you got an A on your exam!
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I loved it!! Keep them coming!!
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Yeah….you’re freaking awesome. This is hilarious. :D
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Yep, welcome to the internet. Love your posts btw. :)
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You really knock it out of the park. Most other blogs pale in comparison. Congrats and good luck.
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love it!
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It got my attention.
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We are white girls. We can say it. That’s what we are. Some people do toooo much trying to be so politically correct. Stay true to yourself. Don’t censor your blog! :)
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I hope you’re able to turn what you’re good at, entertaining, into money while you’re in school and recovering.
Your writing is funny, inspiring and the page on your dog is hilarious. I’m glad he knows to exfoliate. Dogs need good skin. How’d you teach him that?
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love your blog. especially that post about the old people with groceries. Makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
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I found your blog through the Facebook post, but like others I am here to stay! I’m a 27 year old female and take almost 20 pills a day for my ulcerative colitis so I can definitely relate. And although I’m not white, I am guilty of most of the things in your Facebook post! Your blog is tres fantastique! Keep on trucking! :)
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lol you on ellen now that would be hilarious :D
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LOL!! I read the facebook post and thought “duckface” was another pose girls always use!
Love your sense of humor! Never lose it!
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I hope some day I wake up to find thousands of views on my blog, lol. Congrats! Am enjoying your posts :)
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Lol me too :)
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Congrats on your success. Your blog post was hilarious. I found my literary agent through a viral blog post about a year ago, so I know what you’re going through.
Make sure you enjoy the ride, and don’t make any rash decisions. Good luck!
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Walgreens is busy putting together a make-up letter & $5 off your next visit coupon in hopes you’ll let them advertise on your blog.
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ha! i so hope this is true! love your sense of humor and writing style. you should stay with journalism while going to school for nursing. good luck with your blog! it’s a keeper!
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:)
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Great post. Love your writing style and sense of humor!
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It just shows that you haven’t allowed your health issues to keep you from enjoying life. I have FMS myself & oh my gosh, I take — let’s see, a couple prescriptions & about 10 vitamins a day. I have added your site to my favorites & I will be a regular reader.
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I’m so excited you went viral and I found your blog! I love your writing style and pretty much everything you write about makes me giggle :) Cant wait to read more!
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I, too, can’t believe you left off “duckface” – every 22 year old I know has a plethora of pictures with that face, trying to look sexy…
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Congrats on going viral! I’ve been blogging for almost 6 years and I’m happy if 3 people I don’t know come to my blog.
You’ll probably get a lot more traffic now. I’m reading this post because I read the viral one and got curious about the others.
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The first time one of my posts went viral, it made a lot of people really angry. And that made me really stressed. And then it calmed down and I calmed down and I closed the comments on the post and a few weeks later I was kind of missing all the attention. Any post that gets a lot of hits – especially one as funny as yours – is going to get some truly nasty feedback, mostly because some people hate it that you’re funnier than them. Your blog is great, and I’ve subscribed.
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Good stuff.. I am now following.. Be yourself ;)
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Like just about everyone leaving comments your Facebook post was on the freshly pressed page on here so I took a look. And I just finished reading every one of your posts and I loved it. You are funny and real. I like it and am now following :-)
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you’re right, as i recall, i got the most hits on my blog when i mentioned facebook in the title – wordpress should advertise this among their ‘ways to get traffic’… congrats, you deserve ‘going viral’ (that would sound very wrong in another context) – i shall browse your blog some more… haha, so much pressure now!
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Anybody who tries to pretend that your blog post was racially offensive is desperate to be offended.
I lump them in with the people who get all huffy about people saying “Happy Holidays” and trying to pretend like there’s this gigantic, worldwide conspiracy (probably headed by Barack Obama) to abolish Christmas. (BTW, I really get a laugh about the whole “reason for the season” thing so many people spout off on. Xmas is a repurposed pagan solstice celebration. Eat, drink, be merry and get over it)
Anyway, don’t worry about it. It was funny.
Rant over.
Carry on…
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Thank you, Sarah — you said it perfectly.
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You are the daughter I never had!!! Keep up the good work and keep writing what YOU want to write!!! It’s YOUR blog!!!!!!!!!
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Woot to you :) I got excited about 54 views to my first post the other day, so girl go-ahead-with-yo-bad-self & enjoy your day in the sun <3
PS – I have Lupus & Fibro & Sjogren's & IBS & so on & so forth & choke down handfuls of pills daily too. We should be friends. It always helps to have someone who understands what you're going through!!! *hugs*
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Oh yeah, I forgot…I hate Walgreens too!
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Love your work! Keep smiling and keep writing and congrats on your celeb status!
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Love your writing. Too funny!
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Brilliant…just brilliant
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Dear Mary,
Congratulations on your recent success! I think that you have so much to offer to the world with your writing! I’m a literary agent and would like to talk to you about writing a book. Please get in touch at your soonest convenience. You can check out some of the authors and books my company represents at http://www.literarygroup.com.
All the best,
Katherine Latshaw
The Literary Group International
330 West 38th Street, Suite 408
New York, NY 10018
646.442.5896
http://www.theliterarygroup.com
Twitter: @literarygroup
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Hi Katherine!
Trying to take it all in right now and not die of shock. I will be in touch with you.
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Great, looking forward to it! Can’t wait to connect.
Best,
Katherine
PS. So you have it, my email addy is klatshaw @ theliterarygroup.com.
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Crazy! One post goes viral and you get a book offer within 24 hours!
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Who am I and how did I get here?
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I really like your writing, and not only because of your amazing ‘Facebook’ post. I look forward to reading more about you, and laughing at the things you put on here that are “meant” to be funny. Take care and keep it up, shit’s getting boring out here.
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They read your list on the morning show that I listen to in Minneapolis. Congrats on your new-found (z-list) celebrity!
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I found this from a facebook re-post too. :) Also, read through your other posts and bookmarked. Maybe you’ll get some kind of writing offers out of all of this eventually. Good luck!
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You did it girl! You hit the blogger jack pot! By that I don’t mean the probably 100,000 plus readers but that Inread your blog for over forty five minutes and have now added it to my select few must read blogs.
Do you mind if I link to your Facebook article for my blog? I would like to warns daughter to never do anything on that list ;-) Also could I link to your mom’s section? I want to give K some advice about appreciating her health. Keep on keeping on!
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Like everyone said, I found your blog because of the facebook post, but I’ll keep coming back because of everything else. Hope this opportunity helps you.
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write a blog about the # obsession on twitter!
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I went mad when I got 60 visits. I can’t even imagine what is like to have 60.000. CONGRATS!
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I was suckered in by the white girls on facebook post that was shared by a friend, then I hunkered down and read your entire life story before lunch. You’re hilarious and a great writer… sorry about your medical struggles – but I’m sure you hear that more than your lactose intolerant dog’s farts.
Keep the laughs associated with everyday living coming. I’ve got you bookmarked.
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Congrats on making it to the big leagues in the blogging world.
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Regarding all of the negative feedback, the ones who were “offended” fughetaboutit. Comes with the territory of humor. And writing. And truth telling. And mockery. Keep doing what you do. That post was so funny I had to cover my mouth while laughing since I was in a (quiet) study room while reading it. I think I may have snorted a little.
Also, while I was reading the post I thought of the super viral “Stuff White People Like” and the guy’s success from that. Check out his web site if you haven’t already. So please do NOT remove the “white” part; that’s what MADE it. Don’t back down to anyone, especially not to those who post anonymously. They’re usually meatless trolls anyway.
LOL LOL LOL!!!
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Alright you have a new stalker (but not really since I’m telling you). I loved every minute of your White Girls post even though I may have done one or 2 of them before. I so hope that you make it in a writing career instead of Nursing, too.
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I stumbled upon your blog, as many others did, when someone posted yesterday’s blog post. Very funny stuff…
And good luck on your A & P exams…
Have you read anything about fibromyalgia and the new research on Bartonella as a cause? Several veterinarians have been diagnosed with this. The relatively new information is suggestive that Bartonella could be a cause of fibro and chronic fatigue syndrome.
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For what it’s worth, I found your blog from the silly post about Facebook, but then I couldn’t stop reading it. I am 21 years old. I have had arthritis since I was 10, I have a blood-clotting disorder, I had to get my gallbladder out at 19, I just had a colonoscopy (AT 21!!) and found out that I have IBS, I get dizzy with headaches a lot for unexplained reasons, and not a day goes by where I don’t have something that feels wrong with me. Needless to say, your blog has already inspired me immensely. It helps me realize that I need to put things into perspective! However horrible I feel on a day-to-day basis and whatever activities I have to miss out on, I have the unconditional love of my friends and family to get me through it. You are an awesome writer, keep up the good work :)
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IBS and headaches/dizziness are sometimes experienced by people with Fibromyalgia. Just FYI
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Yah, but it’s awesome because it was true. When it resonates it propagates.
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Ha, that sounds more like a fairly exciting day. I would love for that to happen to my blog, but I just started last month.
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Haha that is crazy. Yeah, I found your blog because of that post, but I followed because I have been wanting to start blogging again and you seem to have similar issues and a similar sense of humor dealing with it. Oh and I hate Walgreens too.
And Monty is awesome. I have a Sophie, but she is about 1/10th his size.
Enjoy being famous!
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Mary, I’m following you now, not because this has gone viral (I didn’t know that until I saw some of the other comments), but because you have such a gift of writing. You’re funny, witty, wise, and have something to give about what you’re going through. Great job.
http://mjmonaghan.wordpress.com
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I’m really glad you posted about your experience with “going viral.” All of us bloggers hope for it, but I know I would also be “beyond shocked.” Best wishes and I’m going to follow your blog now!
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i totally agree! we all hope and wish for it… but really, i couldn’t imagine getting so many views. i’d be beyond ecstatic!
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Wow! Maybe you’ll end up on ELLEN! Laughter is the best medicine and there are a shit ton of people in the world that need a big dose in this day and age…which is why you’re all over the place now making people crack up. Yay internet.
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Never doubt the Internet lightning. NEVER. Congrats!
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