About

Monty and Me and Some Red Pants

So, I started this thing when I was 27 years old. Now I’m about to be 30. Ew.

My name is Mary, my dog is Monty, and here’s what happened.

I was kind of this badass gymnast when I was nine, then I got the flu and just never recovered. Like ever. I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, then Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. I had to quit gymnastics and home school the rest of 3rd grade, and then learn how to live a life with this thing inside me that no one else could really see. (Except my mom, she has the illness too)

A few years ago the illness really intensified and gradually my body sort of just fell apart. Eventually I crashed and could not recover. I woke up one morning too weak to walk to the bathroom and I was like crap, this is turning into a real problem.

In the months following that crash, I had to leave my job, boyfriend and apartment. I saw a specialist in Miami and was diagnosed with Lyme Disease among other things. I was too sick to care for myself anymore or earn money, so at 26 I moved back in with my parents. I was lucky they took me and my dog in and cared for me.  But that was really hard too–a big lesson in humility if nothing else.

After losing all my attachments, I had a lot of time on my hands. And that’s where this blog began. Me: sick, jobless, and living with my parents. No schedule, no real expectations, and a lagging social life. Admittedly I experienced some psychological “confusion” and didn’t quite know how to pursue life this way. So I began writing here. For one thing, it was something the illness couldn’t take from me. I could do it sick, from bed, from the floor of my bathroom. It also worked well as a way to give people a glimpse into the experience, and as a place for me to face the realities of my life and try to sort them out. I guess that’s what everyone is trying to do.

If anyone has the answer to life, just shoot me an email; theothergelpi@gmail.com. I’d love to hear from you.  Otherwise, the search continues.  Here are some other anecdotes from my life and how I got to be me.

I stole orange flavored tic tacs when I was 4 and my dad heard them jiggling in my osh-kosh-bgosh overalls and made me return them to the gas station.

I am the youngest of four siblings. I have two older brothers, Nick and Doug, and an older sister Amelie. They are my favorite!

My dad died of cancer when I was 12. He died on the toilet. No joke!

High school was terrible. I am in awe of people who loved high school.

I graduated from LSU with a degree in journalism. College fucking rocked.

My mom re-married a dude named Roger and in the middle of college, HE died suddenly. Yeah, that happened.

I studied abroad in France while in college and that was one of the best times of my life.

My mom re-married again, we’re keeping our fingers crossed…

I love my dog Monty. Like a lot.

345 thoughts on “About”

  1. Hey, what an inspiring blog you have here!
    It seems so many people related to you and you’ve encouraged people to open up and share, even if doesn’t seem the easiest thing to do.

    I am in my twenties and write a blog on news, views, London, culture – The SIgnorina (www.thesignoria.com)

    I hope you have a chance to pop in.

    Maybe this one will make you laugh –
    ie: http://thesignorina.com/2014/12/14/10-reasons-you-know-you-live-with-an-italian/

    or if you have heard of Victoria’s Secret but want to see it in a different light:

    http://thesignorina.com/2013/12/30/underwear-underworld-you-know-you-love-it-victorias-secret/

    Anyway, lovely to have found you!

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  2. I am happy to have found your blog! I have diagnosed fibromyalgia and undiagnosed CFS, which I already know I have from research. I’m looking forward to reading everything.

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  3. aw I just came across your blog and really enjoyed it and can relate to also having fibro…along with many other health issues(oh it’s so fun)NOT!..I’m a newbie and just starting out heck I haven’t even got all my stuff on my blog yet but all in due time lol…if you are ever in my area stop over and at least say hello…hugs to you and hang in there… Suzette

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  5. Hi Mary,
    I have just found your blog and in some ways can relate to your journey. I have an severe auto-immune disease where my muscles attack themselves. It progressed and started attacking my lungs and so I had chemo at Christmas time. Back in remission again and I take a handful of tablets everyday and am almost “normal”. My brother has fibromyalgia and lives at home with my parents and it seemed to wrap its tentacles around him like an octopus and there doesn’t seem to be much treatment. I have two children aged 10 and 8 and I live with concerns about my mortality but so far so good. I’m quite a fighter and my doctor always seems to have another trick up his sleeve. We have two dogs. Our second dog moved in 3 weeks ago and I’ve written a few posts about her antics while we’ve been on holidays. By the way, I live just North of Sydney, Australia. I’m looking forward to reading your blog and you’ll probably connect with mine and like my stories about the dogs and also skiing. I did that with the Disabled Winter Sports Association. Best wishes, Rowena

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  7. You sound like you’ve been through a lot emotionally and physically but have come out stronger as a result! I turned to blogging when I was going through my own ‘dark’ time and have tried to find the key to life though my words. Feel free to check out my writings, maybe you can find some peace within them.

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  8. Love your blog. Autoimmune diseases are life sucking harbingers of hell and you are kicking their ass! I have fibro and severe rheumatoid arthritis. From one warrior to another, keep your head up, keep fighting and keep blogging!

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  9. Hi, I am a newbie at blogging. I too was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. But I found out the cause of it was systemic Candida yeast overgrowth caused by a long period of antibiotics which killed my good bacteria as well as my bad. I did not increase my good bacteria when I was done with meds and thus the bad bacteria grew and developed. I need to take antifungals every 2 months and stay away from sugar and yeast. I haven’t read many of your blogs, but am looking forward to it!

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  15. I love your blog but the worst thing about it is knowing I’m part of your family and there is nothing I can do to help but sit and read and learn all I can.

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  16. Just came across your blog from “Fixing My Fear of Flavors” blog. Wow, you certainly have been though a lot in 27 years. I felt drawn to your blog because I am very passionate about chronic pain and illness and helping others learn how to interact with people who deal with this. Looking forward to checking out your blog!

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  21. I hear what you are saying about fibromyalgia… Literally. My mum has been diagnosed for nearly 5 years and it is really tough for her to overcome the pain through exercise as she has a pacemaker designed to not allow her heart rate to fluctuate too much. Ergo, she finds it hard to exercise AND she finds it hard to sleep. If she does go above her designated beats per minute, her heart shuts down and starts up again. I partly blame my mother and father’s love for having babies (9 siblings, woop!), but I hear and see and *try* to tend to my mothers cries. I enjoy hearing the life of someone who is trying to cope and surpass the pain, for I feel it is too late for my mum.

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    1. Hi, so sorry to hear about your mom having a pacemaker, which slows down her abilities to exercise properly. Fibromyalgia is a relentless pain syndrome that has no respect of persons at all. Fibro does not care about any other ailments or conditions that we have. This is why it is so important to network and communicate with those who have like conditions and issues. Conversation is excellent therapy, as it let others know that someone does care, and are concerned about their problems. We never get too big or too rich to care. I am proud to see that you are standing by your mom through these times.

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  22. Hi there –

    I have a quick question about your blog. Could you please email me when you get a chance? Thank you!

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    1. Part of me wants to say I have no clue what it’s like to be pain free, but I kind of do. I started with this when I was 23, but then after 30 or so it got better. I’m 38 now and right back into the mess of it after a short illness.

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    2. Hi, I am interested in knowing how your mom became pain free, as I would like to be pain free as well. I am sure the millions of people who has fibro would like the same thing. Please share. Thank you. I am happy for your mom.

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      1. I’m not sure that it’s anything she did. I do know that she started exercising more, doing aquatic exercises and spin classes and stuff and that’s been a big help.

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  25. So weird, I have an auto-immune syndrome called CREST (v. popular with ladies over the age of 70) which has now evolved into fibromyalgia, as I found out this morning. How weird that I find this blog that same afternoon! Looking forward to hearing from someone who gets what its like to like with these sort of conditions. They are a pain in the butt.

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  27. I hear your pain, but just know that you are not alone at all. Hopefully, you will be given the strength to continue to cope, and accept the ailments that are destined to embrace these physical bodies that we wear, as they were never meant to last forever. We pray and hope that we do not have to suffer so terribly, which is my reason for keeping hope alive in my heart. So sorry about your dad, both my mom and dad are passed on. Pain is not good, but what is the alternative? Stay strong.

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  30. Add me to your list of “blovers” which is my version of blog lovers. I can completely relate. Amazing job giving away money (no joke-$6 million/year for a private family foundation), finally owned my dream horse and competed in jumping competitions, ran and did lot of other sports, two kids and awesome husband. Got fibro and Hashimotos (thyroid) but it took them years and years to diagnose. By the end of 10 years of misdiagnosis I had lost my job and my health. Walking to the bathroom was my exercise for the day. BUT, like you, I kept fighting the fuckers that didn’t believe me, including a variety of crazy ass doctors and here I am, happy again. I am golfing and while not the high adrenaline sport I am used to, I have shocked myself by loving it. I guess it’s the competitor in me. I have launched a freelance writing business and have real, live clients. Another shocker. I still have my hubby although it was touch and go for awhile and my kids fucking ROCK!
    So, 1) good for you to never give up and 2) good for you for helping to inspire the rest of us and 3) thank you!!!

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  34. i can relate to this, the dr thinks i have male fibro or chronic pain. ive always had it but when i was younger i thought i was just sore from working or playing but now im 32 and feel like im 80 lol. i was doing concerts and working 2 jobs for about 10 years. i grew up in a shit neighborhood so my goal has always been to make something out of my self. i have a huge issue of anxiety even though i use to perform at concerts i had to surround myself with good friends and alot of beer lol. since i knew i could never hit college being poor as hell and not wanting to go into loan debt i worked very hard jobs that i didnt have to be around people mostly mechanic work and unloading trucks. injury after injury year after year made me get worse and worse then id leave work and do a show and kill the pain off with beer. then i got tinnitus. my ear rings constantly all day every day for the past 3 years. i quit doing music, i cant even be around it really. had to stop working pretty much from the pain im in. since i dress like a city kid i get treated like a criminal and im 32 but i look in my early 20s. these stupid pharmacies have made my life hell ive been going to them the past about 4 years and ive never had a incident of being a junkie or drug dealer yet they treat me like one that one day a month. my schedule now revolves around trying to figure out things like if i have a brain tumor causing my ear ringing and if theres solutions and all the other pains i have. anyways, your not alone even though u may feel alone where you are. i cant hold a relationship for shit, try telling a girl i cant talk on the phone because of my ear. yah that doesnt smooth out to great with anyone. give it a week and there on to the next person. ill prob die alone and miserable but ive sort of adjusted to it. my dog is my best friend as well and then she was attacked by a pitbull and now i dont know whose pain is wore mine or hers after her 3 surgeries. im like a broken cloverleaf. god bless yah, well, if there is one that is.

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  37. And I love your sense of humour and how you handle life´s punches. A dark sense of humour..like that, my life expectancy is not very high,I´m 30, a bleeding ulcer, the liver the size of a basketball, two broken ribs one on the right side the other on the left side which I take to mean that I´m an independent politically speaking, chronic back pain, two broken fingers one on each hand again independent, dislocated shoulder, I´m starting to get bold as gold, is that enough! Good you´re studying nursery I´ll probably need a nurse in…they say some time, I prefer now a nurse-caretaker, I´m lazy. Preferable a girl,don´t want a hairy dude walking around the house. Deal?

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  38. Just found your site! I cannot believe you were diagnosed with fibro at 9! The only good thing is that maybe they will find a way to cure it, while you are young enough to benefit from it. I was 43. It does suck, but, it could always be worse. Yes, when I get my flares, it is hard to remember that. I really hate the fibro fog. I recently went back to college to pursue a baking/pastry degree. I work out at least 3 days a week and I am trying to push myself. I mean, if I have to hurt, at least let me have earned it! One of the worse things about fibro is…well, you don’t look sick! Hang in there. Pursue your dreams with a passion, because it does hurt, just a little less.

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  39. Okay, wow. I appreciate your sense of humor, but … I’ll be praying you have a conscious sense of God’s presence and work in your life during the ‘reconstruction’ process.

    On the bright side, I’m an editor, and I dearly appreciate your writing skills, but I think it’s awesome that you’re pursuing nursing, especially because as a patient yourself, I’m sure you’ll make a fantabulous nurse!

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  41. We have a few things in common, My name is Mary ,I have fibromyalgia, been to france a couple of times and loved it. I suppose I’m a bit more fortunate, in that I came down with fibromyalgia at age 39. If you can use that word fortunate in the same sentence as fibromyalgia. Many people ask, ” do you have good and bad days”? My reply,” No, I have bad days and then I have worse days.” I call my self happy because I have a caring, loving family and I feel God’s love most of the time. I’ve learned a lot being sick and the irony of the whole thing is that I except and love myself more because of this illness. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

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  43. Hello Mary, my heart wants to just give you a huge but very gentle cuddle, so pretend ok? Yes it is shitty yes it does bloody hurt and yes it isn’t fair but if you can find something some little tiny thing to give you JOY focus upon that joy and be thankful for that I have found in my life with shitty fibro and the rest that it somehow makes the world a bit brighter and not OMG another day to get through. Lots of cuddles
    Susie
    Cairns
    Australia

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  44. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue as well. Flares are the worst; damp weather and cold weather intensify the pain something awful. I sometimes think I’ll go insane, it gets so bad. Then there are the “fibro fogs” – those moments where even the most simple concepts seem to be some ancient, foreign language no one knows how to speak anymore, and trying to convey thoughts is more like trying to learn that weird, unheard-of language. And the chronic fatigue… Either I’m up all night and all day (and all night, and all day, and so on and so on and so on), or I’m missing a large chunk of life because even the heavy-duty toothpicks can’t keep my eyelids open. Who says we can’t multi-task, right? :D

    I like your attitude about the challenges you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Staying positive and upbeat might not take the pain away, but it won’t make it worse, either. You’re an inspiration, Mary – especially because you’re dealing with these things at such a young age. Keep your chin up; you’re changing lives by sharing your life…

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  46. I clicked on your blog because of your title. I’ve got fibromyalgia to and I’m only 15, it’s cool to find someone who has it and isn’t like 80 years old. I started reading some of it and I’m pretty much hooked now. I really like your matter-of-fact writing style!

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  48. Pingback: Yowza…Liebster Award Nomination |
  49. Pingback: 50 Blogs You’ll Love Narrowed Down to Ten…You’re Welcome « 50: A Figment of My Imagination

  51. Hey Mary, enjoying your blogs tonight. I became very sick in 2005, determined to be autoimmune, and I’ve been fighting ever since. I was 32 when it floored me 7 years ago, and I was very active before then. I get the whole spectator and feeling too exhausted to move bit, in fact, I completely understand it. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

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      1. No but my sister is. She was diagnosed as lactose intolerant at a young age. Then a few years ago, she complained her stomach was acting up again. She finally got diagnosed as a Celiac.

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  57. Hi Mary, my name is Georgia and I would so love to get to know you better as we have alot in common, I hate walgreens also and I have several chronic illness’s and basically my life has been a roller coaster to say the least , My heart knows your heart , life so has not been the fairest to you or I but at least we are still breathing and able to access the internet .. things could be alot worse , I love to write actual letters and would love to correspond with you if you would like to , as there is no better feeling in the world like going to your mail box and finding a actual hand written letter to you , instead of a bill or some retardo being a ass wipe , sending you pink rainbows much love
    georgia from ohio

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  59. I really enjoy reading your blog, so I nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blog Award! You can check out details of it on my blog. Keep up the great work!

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  62. I just read that last part wherein you said you lost your boyfriend… “Major life reconstruction has begun!” Don’t take this in the wrong way but this makes me like you even more. You’re beautiful and talented and funny too, so surely it must be the men who are at fault. Not writers like us. ^_^.

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  64. Love your blog. Thought I’d discovered something new, until I saw how many people have ‘discovered’ you, also. Good writing should look effortless, and yours does. I admire that. Look forward to following you.

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  66. Awesome blog…I’m a new blogger, go into it through my Professor. So I have just been reading people’s blogs to get the gist of things. And I really liked your piece about your family, because I’m also very close with my siblings. And thought it’s nice to see people having close relationship with their family. Wish you the best in your further studies :-)

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  67. This is seriously amazing! I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog and hearing more about your life. It sounds like you stay positive and have a wonderful outlook on life despite all the difficult things that have happened to you in the past.

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  68. Hello and good day to you,

    My name is Karen and I work for MediaSerps.

    I am interested in placing a text link for one of my clients that will be located on the homepage of 25pillsaday.wordpress.com.

    The rate that we extend for this suggestion is $200 per year and I will have it renewed after a year as a compromise.

    If you agree, I will send you a snap-shot so you can have an idea on how this placement would look like.

    Is it possible to run this type of placement on your site? I’ll be sending the payment through Paypal.

    Hope to hear from you soon.

    Thanks and best regards,

    Karen Collins
    karen@mediaserps.com
    MediaSerps

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  69. Your blog is lovely, as are you. I think I’ve commented and said that before, but it is! Love to hear stories from someone else with fibro, and someone else who has been sick from a very young age to boot. Gives me the sense I’m not alone in this. So thank you for being awesome, and for sharing your experiences. :)

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  71. I’m in my early 30s and use to be a dancer. I quit long before I knew why I physically felt the way I did. I was misdiagnosed in my early 20s. I am finally starting to straighten out my health problems and have the proper diagnosis. It rough but having a positive attitude and a sense of humor can make all the difference. :) Great blog.

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  73. I just found you through Freshly Pressed. I’m excited to explore. I was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I’m glad to read that you are pushing through all of your obstacles!

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  74. Wow, you’ve been through a lot at a young age. My mom also went through the same series of auto immune disorders, but did all her own research because the drs really didn’t help her. We’ve learned a lot. Have you tried altering your diet? Taking inflammatory foods out really help because our food supply is so toxic. Let me know if you would like any info on this. I really believe that food is medicine and pills will kill you!

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  75. Kudos on your blog and sharing with us your thoughts….Open, honest, and straight forward:) Although I don’t have the same illnesses as you, I do have enough other health issues that leave me taking multiple meds on a daily basis:) You have a good attitude and you’re not letting your illness stand in the way of achieving your goals – – -Way To Go!!!! Keep up the positive attitude:)

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  76. Mary,

    I found your blog through Freshly Pressed. I’m a retired nurse with fibro. I wish you much success as you struggle though the health stuff to become a nurse! I just guest posted my fibro story on a friend’s blog: lupuschronicles.com Hang tough, and keep your sense of humor!

    Lois Roelofs (loisroelofs.com)

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  81. You get no shortage of “you’re awesome” comments, but here I sit giving you another one! You’re awesome, strong, talented and you have a shit load of charisma, just through the written word. I can’t imagine what you’d be like in person. I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy your blog very much!!

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  82. Wow. You’ve been through so much, yet you stay so strong. I love your blog, especially the brothers and sisters post. I have two older sisters and they can be a pain sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I’m sorry to hear about your illnesses and I hope you feel better soon.

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  83. I’m pretty sure you’re going to make millions as a brilliant writer because, well, you’re brilliant! Yep, you might just become famous too. BOOM.

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  84. HI! Only read your ‘about’ post and I’m a new follower! I too suffer from CFS and Fibro, along with Vitamin D deficiency. So it’s nice to see someone dealing with the same sort of stuff, and with what seems to be a positive attitude. Humor is good for you and keep it up, if not for your readers, but for yourself!

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  85. Go generic comment go! So…I threw you into my Versatile Blogger ‘award’. In other words, I like(a lot) what I read here, and I think other people will too. Smile or ignore this!

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  87. Hey,
    Liked your blog. Was also diagnosed with chronic fatigue and Lyme disease at one point. Found a great doc in MD. Totally saved my life. Was bedridden before. Anyway, if you want any recommendations let me know.
    Hope your health improves

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