Hey Dude, How’s Your Health?

Here’s what I’ve been diagnosed with:

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome/Fibromyalgia

Lyme Disease

Chronic Migraines

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome

Irritable Bowel Syndrome (Sexy)

Anemia

Supraventricular Tachycardia

Restless Leg Syndrome (Not a made up thing, I SWEAR)

Gonorrhea (Just kidding!!!)

178 thoughts on “Hey Dude, How’s Your Health?

  1. I feel part of your pain. At least on the fibromyalgia and restless leg syndrome part. IT’S NOT MADE UP!
    I know in my personal experience, day to day, it’s hard to deal with our body’s failures and lack of normality. But it is a comfort in a twisted way to know there is someone just as messed up as I am (even though I wish you wouldn’t have to suffer so much!). Wishing you the best and can’t wait for more blogging :)

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  2. Love the laundry list of illnesses! Whomever has the most wins! Maybe you could get the Mayo clinic to sponsor a free evaluation? Either that or Virgin Airlines for a free ’round the world tour with free alcohol. Mmm, scratch the Mayo idea. The second one is much more appealing. We’ve all seen enough doctors!

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  3. Love your blog title. I have a few of these doozies too. Eating lean red meat three times a day (my doctor actually wrote that out on prescription pad) helps a bit. Meds…not so much so I threw them out. Hope you are well. Monty rocks.

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  4. I think i actually read this blog once when I was healthy, I vaguely remember the Fibromy-awesome name. I somehow managed to come back here many years later with fibromyalgia, myofascial pain syndrome, anxiety, depression, depersonalization disorder, and anemia. I’m so glad I ran into this site again, you give me and others like me the inspiration and motivation to keep our head up through our illnesses.

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  5. SHUT UP RODA! I read a book once about how your frame of mind can make you well or sick. I was kind of agreeing with what she wrote until the author states, If you have a good sexual self esteem you will not get a STD. WHAT! I was so mad I bought that stupid book. Let’s throw out science and common sense and only then can we be healed! This kind of ignorance is grotesque! I call it evil when others prey on the sick, so stop it Roda!

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  6. Hey there! I’ve been following your web site for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Atascocita Texas! Just wanted to tell you keep up the excellent work!

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  7. Haha just reading these posts, any excuse to plug something hey :)
    hard to get your head around living with chronic pain, If I could give any advice to somebody healthy, I would say really enjoy it, enjoy having the energy.
    Imagine if the doctors could cure us, do you think we would miss all this pain and sleepless nights?
    Good luck with your treatment Mary, you sound like a fab gal xx
    Victoria xx

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  8. I’ve been diagnosed with POTs, neurocardiogenic syncope, arthritis, lyme disease, babeisia, AD/HD, IBS, generalized anxiety disorder, heart palpitations, gastritis, and reactive hypoglycemia. I kind of think the probability of me having all of these things independently is kind of low… I’m sure most of them are related and there’s a bigger picture, but according to medicine I have/had only 2 actual infectious diseases and a gazillion “syndromes.” Thanks so much for your blog, you are affected so much worse than I am and have a much better attitude. Sometimes my symptoms aren’t so bad and I forget that I’m not normal and take on too many responsibilities… and then one day I won’t be able to get out of bed and fall behind on everything and feel so angry at myself. I have this fear that I’m secretly making up all of these problems in my head as an excuse to be lazy (how can I be normal one day and the next day not be able to stand up without losing my vision?), if anything its comforting to hear from someone who has done such a good job of accepting the cards that have been dealt to her, and doing her best to work around them. Thanks for the inspiration!

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  9. My overall condition is very characteristic of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (with psychological overlay! HA Ha!) but now I have a collection of diagnsis from start to finish:

    Acute Bronchitis (yes that is what started it in Feb 2010!),
    low ferritin (borderline anemic)
    Asthma (then ruled out a year later),
    Idiopathic hypersomnia, Parasomnia (sleep talking with frequent arousals from deep sleep and mild RLS apparently)
    Non-allergic rhinitis (sensitive to airborne contaminates),
    Acute Sinusitis, Skin infections
    Generalized Anxiety (that someone will catch me falling asleep at work)
    Bipolar II (because medications make me hypermanic)
    Benzodiazepine dependance (geeeze — how did that happen?)
    Chronic Pain Syndrome (brought on by Benzodiazapine withdrawal),
    and tada, 2 years later….
    Polymyagia Rheumiticia (working diagnosis since March 2012). (A rare condition for a 37 year old)

    Hx Migraines, Whiplash injuries, patella syndrome, C-section, elective jaw surgery, frequent illness and skin infections, daytime sleepiness and unrestful sleep.

    Currently 12 pills a day, But have been on other meds and 3 inhalers. I wonder what my life would be like if I started the Prednisone in March 2010 like my doctor suggested and then I wouldn’t be on disability at all and recovered by now (it takes a year to recover from PMR)

    Having PMR and being hypersomniac is a full time job, with my son (I am a single sole guardian mom, former dietitian) in full time care including a nanny (from 7 am.) I go to Physio and massage 2 times a week, and once weekly: exercise kinesiologist, Play therapist with my son, and pain education. Every three weeks: Mental health counsellor, psychiatrist, physician and pain nurse, alternating weeks.

    Since I have been treated for Polymyaligia Rhuemitica (with Prednisone) I have started to get a lot better! I am on the upswing, but I could cycle down any time, especially as I drop medications! I am currently averaging 38 minutes of mild to moderate exercise a day, from having zero exercise tolerance, shortness of breath on walking and falling asleep several times a day.

    I hope that awareness of CFS continues. I learned about CFS when I had a breif bout of in my early 20’s when I was deconditioned from an MVA, overweight and inactive, so I learned about it then because I was crashing on my days off. It took me a about a year to get back in shape and was ok until I was 35 and then it started again.

    Check to see if you have PMR? It is a condition that shows a high C-Reactive Protein or high sed rate (inflamatory markers) and no rhumetiod factor that responds to high dose oral prednisone.

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  10. You made some respectable points there. I appeared on the web for the issue and located most individuals will associate with together with your website.

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  11. Not to be a buggy person, just curious, do you take anything specifically for the Fibromyalgia?
    It’s only, I was diagnosed with FMS like 6 years ago nearly, but in New Zealand its a massive struggle just finding a doctor that actually believes in it. so rather than actually finding something that could help manage it, I get given painkillers, mosty of which do nothing for the pain and… yeah at the moment i’m just looking around trying to find out any ways of managing the pain other than my current method which is “try to ignore it” so i was just wondering..?

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    1. @whattowritewhen, I get given painkillers for FMS, too, and I live in the US, so I understand your frustration with having to rely on medication like that. It really is a struggle to find a doctor who will send you to a rheumatologist to have a check up and a test (aka, ruling everything else out). There is a medication that I can really can tell a difference on the pain scale and it’s Lyrica. It’s made just for Fibro, nothing else, and it works on the pain signals that are being send to your brain. I honestly can tell a difference in how I feel, but I don’t think there’s a 100% feeling of awesomeness or anything. Besides medication, aquatic therapy might help because it takes pressure off of your joints but still lets you stretch and move around. I get my exercise for the day by walking to the mailbox and back… But I hope the medication suggestion helps!

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    2. Lyrica has made a huge difference for me. I am definitely not 100%, but it helps take the edge off so that I am able to work full time and live a somewhat normal life. Exercise is key, but we all know how hard it is to even get to that when you feel like hell. Check out foam rollers on Amazon and order the black one. I roll on that thing all the time (especially my back) and it works out all of the tension we carry in our muscles. Don’t turn to painkillers as a solution– sleep, hydration, stretching, Lyrica if you can get it, and moderate exercise will put you on a much more sustainable path. Wishing you lots of painless days!

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  12. Just thought I would drop a note for you…my wife was suffering from a lot of what you describe (Fibro/CFS). She was even told she had a parasite and some other off the wall things. Healthy 28 year old who runs 5 miles suddenly cannot get out of bed. Long story short, it was MOLD in our house. Problem treated and wife doing great. Just a thought to you and any others suffering as my wife once did, searching the internet for others and trying to find some hope out there.

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  13. Roda you suck. I know a child who has every disease Mary has and more. Do you honestly think his family wouldn’t go to the depths of hell to cure him? They would. You are a vile human being. I find you repulsive. I hate these internet trolls hawking their wares and possibly doing great harm to ill people. Thank you Mary I love your blog. I find great humor in your words.

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  14. Hey all. Thanks for sharing and I apologize for some of the crazy posting and book plugging that seems to have happened. I was unaware and I’ve changed the settings so that should not happen anymore. Carry on. Peace yall!

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  15. At first I thought Roda was satirizing all the people who like to think they have the one true solution for you problem by offering unsolicited advice. Then I continued to read the comments. Horror, upon horror accumulated and I just have to say, Roda, shut the fuck up.

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    1. I’m so livid, I don’t even know what to say at this point.

      I cannot believe this “Roda” character. I mean, she actually thinks that by bullying the vulnerable she’ll sell books? She’s mad. She has to be.

      Thank you for saying something, Sarah!

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  16. At first I thought Roda’s posts were a satirical response to the many people who love to give unsolicited advice to people who have chronic illness, and then I realized she was serious. WTF Roda! This is not a place for you to try and sell your book. STFU.

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  17. Hello ….. I have authored a book through my 6th sense which has the capacity to heal you of all or any illness and that’s a promise from the heart. You see the knowledge was shared with me when I was told I would die of a life threatening illness when I was around 45/55(and this knowledge was shared with me when I was all of 14 years old) and I truly believed what I was told and so ended up with diabetes. And then this knowledge was shared with me to heal and cure me and here I am hail and hearty and though its not a pretty way of putting it … as strong as the proverbial ox and eating as much sugar as I like. My strong advise to you is to buy my book MasterMind and turn your life around … at present you will not be able to understand or believe but still go with what I say and when you have thrown away each and every one of the 25 pills you swallow …then fly down to India and come and meet me in person to thank me …for thank me you will have to just as I know that buy my book you will. Your life and sanity depends on my book for it is your gateway to another world where problems of such a nature can merely be wished away. God Bless….Roda

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    1. Please read what I have written above and bless yourself. You only have to buy my book and read my blog to do that and you will be cured.

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  18. I was feeling sorry for myself for feeling too shitty to go out tonight, and I ended up here. FIbro, chronic fatigue, IBS/lactose intolerance…bla bla. It’s comforting (in a weird way) to see someone else who deals with this…makes me feel a little less nuts.

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  19. Has anyone mentioned Chiari to you? I had all almost all the same things until they found out I had Chiari and ehler danlos and the list goes on…posted something on your about page so sorry for redundancies.

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    1. Please buy my book MasterMind and read my blog. You will cure yourself 100%. That’s a promise from the heart. God Bless

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  20. Have you ever tried the paleo diet? No dairy, no wheat, no sugar, no processed foods, no legumes, no beans etc. Just meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts/seeds. Check it out

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    1. Dear friend … Please buy my book MasterMind and heal yourself. I promise you it is possible to do that without any pills and giving up food of any type or nature. God Bless

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  21. Your blog makes me so happy. I have Crohn’s. I share all of the same thoughts and feelings you have. I share all of the yuckiness. I share all of the super-ninja-badassness (let’s me honest, not that many people could handle what we handle) and I appreciate that you put it down on paper. Paper? Internet? I don’t know. You get it. Keep on keeping on!

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    1. This blog should not make you happy. But my book MasterMind has the capacity to make you happy and whole again. Teach yourself to be happy and well and it is possible but you will need MasterMind and I will bet my last dollar that you will. I am that sure for I understand what suffering can do to a person and everyone wants to free themselves from it. Don’t make the mistake of doubting it.

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  22. I’m lovin this!! Sucks to be sick all the time and nobody understand that your really in pain…..it’s so frustrating = ( I’m recently 30 and suffer from these ailments:

    Fibromyalgia
    Rheumatoid Arthritis
    Sciatica
    Degenerative Disk Disease
    My kneecaps are deformed so my kneecaps sit wrong and cause a lot of pain (no term for this)
    Chronic migraines and tension headaches
    Asthma
    Plantar Factitious (fancy name for falling arches, but very painful)

    That about wraps up everything. Totally wish things were different, but everyone is given a task in life and maybe this is a part of mine as much as it is yours. I appreciate your writing and more so your sense of humor. My three daughters help me to push on, even when it feels like it’s no possible, and without them I think I may have given up already. Thanks for “keeping it real!”

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    1. Dear Candace …. your article sucks …what have you done to yourself … don’t punish yourself any more .. just order my book MasterMind and you will be healed. That’s my promise and I don’t promise a refund for you will never need it. However next christmas
      you will be gifting my book to others as you will not be able to stop yourself from sharing the wonderful change that has come over you.
      Whatever your problems they will all be gone. God Bless

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      1. Dear Roda, you’re a bully. I’m gobsmacked by your rudeness. Stop using God in this; God is love and kindess, the OPPOSITE of your little viral marketing campaign here.

        Dear Candace, You do not suck. You haven’t done anything to yourself. In fact, you seem to have a really nice attitude about chronic illness and pain and I can really appreciate that. I’m sorry that you had such nastiness spewed at you by some lunatic. Feel better.

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  23. Thats a winning combo
    I have
    anemia
    hashimotos disease
    gastritis
    hiatus hernia
    and dandruff
    all at the age of 30. you do need a sense of humour. good luck!

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    1. Well I thought I was going to die when I turned 45 so thank your lucky stars. Please go and buy MasterMind immediately and I promise that you will be cured before your 31st birthday of all your problems

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  24. Glad I found your blog! It is great to be able to see the humor in difficult circumstances, it really had an positive effect on day to day living. I too, suffer from CFS and also a litany of other things as well….Ulcerative Colitis, Spontaneous patichiae, Adult onset Asthma, with occasional bouts of unspecified hepatitis and thrombocytosis. It is madness. Laughter gets me through most days and writing fills what humor can not. I also have a beautiful daughter that allows be not to mope and to keep dreaming!

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    1. I did write a post once that because we have so little to do we create more and more difficult sounding illnesses to keep ourselves occupied. Ilnesses begin in the head so please buy my MasterMind and go and cure yourself. Like you said .. you have a pretty daughter and you must get 100% fit and well to enjoy her company into old age. Actually you don’t have a choice for MasterMind was written for you too … so stop moping and start living.

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  25. My mom has restless leg syndrome! We used to the think she was nuts until we actually heard a doctor say it! It’s very uncool.

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  26. As someone who also suffers with a chronic disability, I found “The Spoon Theory” a really great way of expressing how a day with disability can go…..take a look, it’s good stuff!!
    Laura
    ps Keep on truckin’ lol

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    1. Dear friend,
      I don’t know you from adam and when I started commenting and writing on all the posts here on this blog .. I was angry at what punishments humans are capable of inflicting on themselves as I too have suffered but am now free. And then I thought that Roda how can you really blame these people .. they really don’t know better. Please buy my book MasterMind today and if you are like me you will understand that miracles happen everyday to everybody and today is the day when one will happen to you. I am sure and make a wish for you as I write this.

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  27. I have been on your blog for hours, you are awesome. Great writing, very funny. It is great to see you have a great mom that is there to support you through all this. I am also sure that you provide her with that same support. You rock! I bumped into this blog through your Freshly Pressed posting about Facebook. Congrats on becoming freshly pressed. Also, I just started my blogs this week but I only have one post on one of the two blogs because I have been stuck trying to fill in my About page until I fell upon your blog. While I have not posted it yet, it is in my notebook for posting tonight. I did not know what kind of info to provide but your blog has inspired me to just start blogging. Who would ever have thought I would be looking up to someone younger than me? i stopped writing a few years ago and finally figured out why thanks to you and your blog. Thanks for the inspiration, if you are interested I would like to get to know you better (hey, no funny business,lol). Seriously, I respect your writing and think I can learn very much from you, if not, good luck and never lose your humor and strength. Keep Truckin’
    Thanks,
    Sinncere

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  28. as someone with fibromyalgia I consistently get flustered/annoyed trying to explain it and myself to other people. I BEG YOU to write an article/explanation so that I can share it with other people. Minimal drama, high on entertainment. you are the perfect person for the job!

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    1. Would you really like it if you never had to explain your problem to others. Its possible when you don’t have it anymore and that is what I promise can be the gift you receive from MasterMind my book. Please buy it today.

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  29. You’re so full of optimism and strength, and it shows. Your’s is an inspiring story. Wishing you the very best, with the new career – the nursing- and all else.

    You’ve got a great blog here, too. Love your sense of humour.

    Best wishes.
    Kat.

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  30. Oh dear, I thought my 6 pills a day was bad. I just wanted to thank you for being you(a funny you to boot!) Keep writing, so I can keep procrastinating! And you know, stay healthy…or get healthy or whatever.

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    1. Please buy my book MasterMind .. I promise that you will never ever need to swallow any pills for as long as you live. Get well my dear friend .. it is your birthright to live a good and full life.

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  31. I love this blog! What an opportunity to meet so many people that can benefit from HealingThyme Products® …

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    But to assist in any healing, ailments, or just a little help in relaxing and pampering, check out some of our 100% pure & natural health and beauty products @ http://www.healingthymeproducts.com ! Subscribe to our newsletter for great news on up and coming products, resources, and PROMO CODES!

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    1. Hi Bethany … You don’t know me but I have taken it upon myself to help people with health problems so here I am requesting you to buy my book MasterMind. It will help heal you.

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  32. Just happened upon your blog while looking to create my own, and it IS awesome!! Laughed all the way through. Loved it!

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  33. Hi I loved your facebook post. I was just reading through the rest of your blog and thought I would share my experience with you. First off, I want to let you know that I don’t want to invalidate any of your health concerns, I know they are all real. Lyme disease must suck ass, and I know that’s difficult to treat. However, I wondered if you have been to an allergist to find out what (if any) foods you are allergic to. I have fibro and CFS too, they are supremely annoying. But I started eliminating foods out of my diet until I reached a very long list of things I don’t eat so I can feel like a normal human. Also, I’d like to recommend a vitamin D supplement in addition to your other 25 pills. 2k-5k IU of D3 can be life-changing. Food allergies can cause a wide variety of illnesses because your body is producing an immune response to the food, causing inflammation and it’s even been suggested that histamine can irritate tissues (such as the brain), causing them to malfunction. My diet changed my life and I hope the same for you

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    1. I really stuck with reading this page when I seen that she is a fibro sufferer. I also have it. I was diagnosed in 1997… I had come to the conclusion a long time ago that this crap has a great deal to do with what we eat. I really seen the affect that food had on me when I did a clense and ate nothing for a week. I felt friggin AWESOME! I do not eat processed meats like sausage, smoked meat such as smoked turkey or pork. I find that if I eat these thing I am almost guaranteed to have a flare. The less processed food the better and as much organic as you can. I do not take any pills… NONE and haven’t for 5 years. I have mild flares on occasion, but only when I drink certain things like ummmmm tequila. HA.. or get very stressed.

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    2. Dear Sara ….. you do not need any medicines as I tell you bluntly that no food causes problems of any sort … period .. and there is no argument on this as this is God’s truth. I am asking you to buy my book MasterMind today and help heal yourself. Bless yourself by buying my book MasterMind. You do need it to eliminate the medicines from your diet.

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    1. Hi Alexis …. you do not have any problems that you cannot cure if you allow yourself to do so. Bless yourself by reading my MasterMind and you will be cured of all of your problems.

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  34. Woah! How did a ll this happen to you? Pl;ease do tell more. is it genetic? is there an end? do you live under a power line? near a coper smolt? near a mine? did you grow up on junk food? what are the variables here. how did this happen…. talk to us – we are waiting to hear from you. ps. i’m a law student and so are thousands of others out there – not that anyone is necessarily at fault – but we’re curious. tell your story!

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  35. Restless Leg! My cousin has that and I hate it when people think he’s lying. Keep blooging and soon you’ll be the most popular in the world. You have my support :)

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  36. Omg!! You are amazing, I just happened upon your blog and I can’t stop giggling! Your writing translates perfectly in my head; reading it is like listening to some ridiculous conversation. Love it!

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    1. you are like a younger more serious nuvo chelsea handler…write that book…I’ll read it :)

      Your humor comes from the bottom of a pill bottle but is the top of my day :)

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  37. i just came across your blog today… i think maybe i take 25ish pills a day. maybe more??! i’m glad to know i’m not alone.

    i have a rare blood disease, porphyria. i also have peripheral neuritis, for which i’m taking lyrica. i know lyrica can be used for fibro – do you take lyrica? have you ever? i’ve been on gabapentin and lyrica to try and help the neuritis, and neither seem to work but they make it better than nothing.

    anyways. i’m going to check out your blog! i’ve always deflected with humor. i’ve been in some tough medical situations (i’m also a cancer survivor, lymphoma) … and well, laughter really is the best medicine!!

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    1. Dear Rose … is that your name. I think it is time you threw out all of the 25 pills you take. Just buy my MasterMind … you more than the others on this page need to read it. Illnesses begin in the head as a bad thought … can you live with that idea that it is you who is responsible for the ill health that you find yourself saddled wiith. Anyways God told me to tell you that he loves you a lot and that MasterMind is for you to heal yourself.

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      1. HOW DARE YOU.

        I woke up with 49 emails because of your selfish, ridiculous, rude, mean-spirited, grammatically-bereft attempts to solicit your “book” by badgering a group of blog commenters who are likely all here for reasons of experiencing or sympathizing with chronic illness.

        ie: bullying the sick is hardly a sound marketing plan.

        and furthermore, don’t you DARE use God in this. God told you to tell me to buy your book? I’m so insulted and appalled, I don’t even have the right words for you. You need to be mindful who you go around saying these sorts of things to. As a Christian, I know better than to believe gimmicks like yours; and more than that, I know the seedier underpinnings, the darker purposes, of false prophets. And I have no interest in deviating from a Christ-following, light-seeking path, so I ask you to kindly stay well away from me. Stay far, far, away from me.

        Seek a less vulnerable audience for your pandering, your insults, and your sales pitches.

        You and your “comments” are not welcomed here.

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  38. Wow – I found your blog because one of my friends shared the link for the “15 things white girls do on FB” post, but I started looking around and I have to say I’m inspired by your strength and positivity during all this. You are also the only other person (this includes some doctors) I have ever known of that knows what Supraventricular Tachycardia is. Seriously. I have had it since I was ten. I researched my symptoms on the interwebz and told my then-doctor I thought I had it. He thought I was making it up. NOT EVEN KIDDING. Anyways, I just thought I’d share that – keep up the amazing positivity – very inspring!

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    1. Hi Hillary … you sound so much of what I was like. I too went to my doctor and asked him to check me for diabetes. Whatever it is you have its not important … you created the illness as a result of bad thoughts. Please buy MasterMind and heal yourself. You deserve to do that for yourself.

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  39. I have fibro and an entire litany of other problems that all fall under it… Boo freaking hoo…I look healthy. I think I may have had it for the majority of my 57 yrs. I do have something that will have to be repaired – I need a hip replacement. Over the last 11 months it has gotten progressively worse to the point I no longer go almost anywhere alone. I use a cane now as well. I fall up stair and dread the day I fall down them.

    I’m not a quitter. I’m starting a new business. Maybe I’ll feel normal getting up and going to work whether I am nauseated or not. Maybe earning a buck will be exciting like my first job was. We’ll see.

    My pill count is rather low. I take one for fibro, one for pain, 2 for sinus probs, 1 for reflux and a few supplements because I am old and need calcium, magnesium, Omega 3 — if my math is correct that is 8 per day. Tylenol if I need it. I am trying to save my liver so I do without as many pills as possible.

    The old gray mare ain’t what she use to be….BUT I NEVER GIVE UP! I highly suggest that you younger ones keep plugging away too.

    Merry Christmas!
    Granny

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    1. Hi Granny dear … reading about you should frighten me but thank God I was blessed sooner than you. Let me inform you that I too am all of 57 years old but feel as strong as an ox and I am portly .. not thin. My strong advice to you .. pl buy my book MasterMind .. it will help you throw all your pills away … assuming that you really want to cure yourself. Feeling sorry for ourselves doesn’t help in any way.

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  40. hahaha..I did a double take when I read about restless legs syndrom a while ago in a random free magazine I picked up. I had to say to my husband (or if you prefer “hubby”) “oh you are not bullshitting me!, he has been describing the symptoms for years, and I usually just give a nod and a “mmm” as I am trying not to be pulled away from whatever I am doing that is way more interesting than him telling me about his “itchy” legs (the word he uses to describe the feeling). But it turns out it is real. And people have it. Sorry that you do.
    Having all those things sounds horrid, but its good to see that you are still “normal” (whatever that may be) and very very funny. Thanks for sharing your funny thoughts. I came across this site by accident and haven’t laughed so hard in ages. VERY FUNNY stuff.
    Everyone is always telling me to give up gluten. But god I love it. I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. and beer. I love that too.

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  41. I also have fibromyalgia and my solution was to live like I don’t have it. I eat what I feel like eating and work out when I feel up to it, which is just about every day. I played roller derby for 1 year, because I feel that if you are going to be in pain anyway, you may as well bust up some other people. I let FMS rule my life for almost 8 years, and I have tried many supplements, chiropractic care, medications, and diets, and nothing really worked except trying mind over matter. I believe you are on the right track with the humor…on my worst days, I am often my funniest. Best wishes!

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    1. Dear Kristen .. you of all the people who have commented on this blog post .. is a person after my own heart. So I shall take the trouble to explain things to you. Illnesses begin first in our heads as the result of bad thoughts (which ones I cannot tell you… but this is God’s truth is all you need to know presently). And since God’s laws are simple if it easy for us to cure ourselves. You my dear are the perfect candidate for curing yourself as you have the perfect positive mental attitude to begin doing so. Trust me on this and buy my book MasterMind. You will find the answers you seek to heal yourself completely through the knowledge in it.

      Like

  42. Damn, after reading all of the comments in this section, I feel under-qualified to make any remarks. I do not have a long list of medical maladies, nor do I have the expertise to dispense any medical advice or dispel any long standing myths about your ailments. I do, however, enjoy reading your blog. You have a great disposition and a very easy-to-read style of writing… not to mention, a pretty great looking pup. I look forward to reading more of your posts. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll go and do that right now. Take care! Thanks for the humor :)

    Like

  43. I am not going to try to tell you how to solve all of your medical issues, but I did want to suggest you google Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Especially if you bruise easily, have joint pain, or are flexible. It is not uncommon for people to be misdiagnosed with Fibro as EDS is not common and many doctors are unaware of it. Fibro can also be a co-morbid condition.

    I just wanted to share that, as my daughter and I have EDS and had never heard of it prior to diagnosis. As I’ve learned more, I’ve run across many people who have spent years getting diagnosed incorrectly before they realize that one diagnosis actually was the cause of many of their different health problems.

    I wish you the best of luck! I understand your need to cope with humor all too well!

    Like

    1. I am leaving the link to my website below and I think you need to buy and read MasterMind so that you can heal yourself.

      Like

  44. I highly recommend Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr. This is one of the more interesting health books I’ve come across and the research she presents speaks to the overall condition of health in this country.

    Like

  45. Gluten, gluten, blah blah blah…looking forward to the next health craze/scare, I’m bored of gluten, especially when internet peoples tell me my chronic illness is definitely caused by gluten, when my (excellent) doctor tells me that, to her knowledge, no studies have ever been done to determine the impact of gluten on my condition.

    But since gluten is such a hot topic here, whether you’re devoted to gluten or an anti-gluten evangelist, I’d love your take on my recent blog post, “The Gluten Wars”: http://alainamabaso.wordpress.com/2011/11/22/the-gluten-wars/

    Hang in there, lady! don’t let pompous, omniscient internet diagnosers get you down! Do what’s best to keep your health on track. I count my blessings b/c I don’t have gastrointestinal problems, but I do have fibromyalgia and a rip-roaring lifelong case of Interstitial Cystitis, so I know all about pain. I take only one medication b/c most pills don’t seem to agree with me, and my main coping strategy is to work incessantly, socialize a lot, and pretend I’m healthy.

    Like

    1. Dear Alaina,

      After reading a whole page of people with all kinds of problems .. it pains me to see so many people suffering so. I am asking you to buy MasterMind and read it … you will be free of all your health problems.
      You need not pretend anymore ..accept it for real.

      Like

  46. Never thought I’d be telling someone this… but I’m jealous of that list. You honestly would think I was lying if I listed everything out. I think it might depress me, too, honestly – but it’s become a joke between my husband & I every time I have a doctor’s appointment “What will I be diagnosed with TODAY???”

    Like

    1. To answer your question .. let me be your doctor and I shall tell you categorically … dear lady you are completely healthy. But the question is … do you want to hear that answer. If you do then buy MasterMind and you will hear it … I stand guarantee to that.

      Like

  47. Since I’m sure you already have a doctor (or eight), and I’m not an MD, I’m not gonna offer any medical advice. All I’ll say is DAMN that’s a long list of conditions, and good job keeping your head above water so far.

    Also, the huge list of comments offering medical advice makes me want to post this link: http://thedoghousediaries.com/2987

    Lastly, FUCK LSU. I’d say “go ducks”, but since we’re in the Rose Bowl, not the National Championship, i’ll say GO ‘BAMA!

    Like

  48. Go you for reaching out and making us laugh instead of curling up in a ball and becoming essentially a funny-looking doorstop (which is my usual way of dealing with really hard things in life landing on me)…

    Like

  49. Your blog has been a breath of fresh air for so many reasons.

    A. Your hilarious and snarky. My fave.

    B. I’m also in a pothole of health crap myself, although I don’t pretend it’s on the same level as yours (see reason C), but as it is currently preventing me from interacting more in my own life, it’s just great to read/see/hear another voice out there for those days when you just want to scream.

    C. My mother had Fibromyalgia and CFIDS, and the most painful memory I have is watching her have to suffer through everything, feeling so alone in the world. I’m sure you already know this, but I just want to reiterate, you’re not alone <3.

    Like

    1. Hi Katie
      Do you currently wishto change the way you feel in your own life.Then get MasterMind and do it today. Some gifts are just too precious to ignore.

      Like

  50. hi, sorry – i also read your list, and thought — i wonder if she has celiac?? you can get a blood test or endoscopy… just eating gluten free could really help with a lot of the issues! i’m celiac, so is my sister, and a couple cousins, took a while to diagnose!

    good luck – funny FB post!

    Like

  51. As someone who has a very aressive form of Systemic Lupus (with Autoimmune Hepatitis and Autoimmune Cardiomyopathy thanks to it), epilepsy and PTSD it is awesome to see someone who also lives with and fights chronic disease write an awesome blog – I’ve got you bookmarked now!

    Like

    1. Dear Brynhildur,
      When you have suffered a lot and God does not want to see you suffer anymore that he will share the knowledge with you of how you may set yourself free of your many illnesses and it is possible to wake up one day and thank yourself that you took my advise and bought MasterMind for it is truly written to help and heal people who are ailing. I am deadly serious about this so don’t delay by even one hour. We create our own lives ourselves so give yourself the opportunty to change yours.

      Like

  52. This blog is awesome. I too have Lyme Disease and take 25 pills a day (complete with the week long pill organizer). Best of luck to you!

    Like

    1. Dear Lauren,
      It has saddened me to have come to this page to read about all the problems you all face …. but please do not look on the number of pills you swallow as some kind of a competition. Its all wrong from start to finish. Do you really want to throw those 25 pills in the dustbin and never have to take them again … then listen up girl. Go and buy my MasterMind and think of it as an order rather than a request for all I have is your best interest at heart.

      Like

  53. Has anyone here just bothered to empathize and say simply, “that sucks??” Gosh, what a bunch of analytical “I heard of that” toads ….

    So, here: That sucks! Do something fun and nice for yourself. You deserve it.

    Like

    1. You Christopher ..my dear do feel …which is the right attitude. It is sometimes amazing how uncaring and unfeeling people are to others’ problems. Good people are nice.

      Like

  54. The majority of the disorders you have listed are all nerve disorders or are the result of nerve dysfunction. Chronic fatigue can be attributed to an Epstein Barr infection at some point in your life, but has decided to rear its ugly little head since your nervous system isn’t functioning properly. Vitamin D3 is a huge player in your immune health, as is….wait for it…your nervous system. As someone who suffered through a long battle with CFS, fibro, anemia, heavy menstrual cycles at 14 days apart that lasted for 8-10 days (if you do the math that’s 4-6 days without menstruating), RLS, insomnia, and Ulcerative Colitis (that took me down to 92 lbs, I’m 5’9″) everything was “all in my head” because I was so young, I can empathize and sympathize with what you are going through. What I realized is that when I had been under chiropractic care during my childhood I was far healthier because my nervous system was doing what it was supposed to so my body could deal with the daily insults and heal itself. Since being under a specific type of care called NUCCA, my body has healed itself.No more insomnia, no more CFS, no more fibro, no anemia with wonderfully regular cycles, I haven’t had a UC flare up in nearly three years (after not having a single good day in over 7 years), not even so much as a cold or sore throat. I will admit that at age 28, I have been a NUCCA chiropractor for 2 years and it absolutely breaks my heart to hear so many young people, or any people, being forced to live with these disorders. From what I have seen in myself and my clinical experience I absolutely beg you all to, at the very least, explore the option of upper cervical care. If you cannot find someone in your area, please email me at vjbriski@gmail.com and I will find someone nearest to you whom I trust. The medications prescribed to you aren’t fixing the problem, it actually sounds like they’re not even doing a decent job of covering up your symptoms as they’re meant to do, and are causing more organ dysfunction and side effects. The only one who can heal you, is you.

    Like

    1. Dear Valeri… you are a good person and therefore have managed to come on top of your problems and the part I agree most with your article is when you say that medicines really only can harm you more and the only one who can heal you ..is you. That is very potent advise. Please read my site as to why I agree with you and also please buy my MasterMind for it will keep you healed for the rest of yourlife.

      Like

  55. Go young people with chronic illness! I can totally relate, I also just got disgnosed with CF after feeling sick for three years, but they think it might also be my thyriod. Have you gotten your free T3 and T4 levels tested? Most docs just go by the TSH and that can be faulty..

    Best,
    Bianca

    Like

    1. Hi Bianca… there is nothing really wrong with you unless you “think” there is. When you “think” there is something wrong with you you are actually telling your brain who runs your body to “create” that problem in your body. Do you understand what I am saying. Its the truth and you better believe me. Buy MasterMind to help you change your thinking to cure yourself.

      Like

    1. Dear Jon .. it pains me to see you joke about health issues. Please buy my book MasterMind and heal yourself of everything.

      Like

  56. I have an entirely different set of problems (chronic pancreatitis and prolonged q-t syndrome) but getting any correct form of diagnosis is a complete pain in the ass. It took three years for them to diagnose pancreatitis during that time I had 5 ERCPs, 2 endoscopic ultrasounds, appendix removed, exploratory surgery, central line put in and removed, heart cath to removed the catheter of the central line after it broke, a j-tube, and a port. The prolonged q-t syndrome was misdiagnosed as seizures which is very common however basically every time I passed out I died. I hate hearing someone else going through so many problems because its heartbreaking but it’s encouraging to not feel alone

    Like

    1. Dear dear Samantha … I don’t even know what I should begin by saying for it truly breaks my heart to see you suffer so. I have seen many people die of this and that was when I decided to be bold and leave niceties for another day and tell it like it is. I swear by God that illnesses do not happen to our bodies unless we first think of them in the head and therefore you need to take a good hard look as yourself and where you are headed .. for it is not in the right direction. The type of illnesses you are planning to acqure for yourself are life threatening .. so you better get a bit more serious about this if you wish to live a long healthy life. And it is definitely
      possible for you 100%. Buy MasterMind and heal yourself. Do it right away.

      Like

  57. Just found this through a link about your white girls on facebook post (which was rather spot on), and became kind of excited (in a kind of morbid way) to discover that someone else has all of my symptoms. I’ve been going to doctors for about six months now and still haven’t received a diagnosis yet, but I am becoming more and more convinced that it’s fibromyalgia. How did you come by your diagnosis? Any advice for getting through the “random-test-for-anything” phase?
    Also, you are hilarious. Keep up the good work.
    -Ryan

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ryan,
      Just reading your post …blows my mind. Do you hear yourself. How do you know what you have ? Its like when I went to the doctor one day and asked him to check my sugar levels because I thought I had diabetes because somebody read my hand and told me I was going to die at 45 of a life threatening disease. Can you imagine. You sound just like I did when I went to the doctor to get diabetes for myself. Bless yourself that you are hale and hearty and buy my MasterMind to help you stay safe from your own bad thoughts.

      Like

  58. Yep, I was going to say cut out gluten, too, and all potentially inflammatory foods. An altogether grain-free diet would probably be even better. If you’ve already explored that, apologies. But I’d still try to do a serious elimination diet to see if there’s anything you haven’t targeted yet. Best of luck to you, Mary.

    Like

    1. Yes, I completely agree – gluten, dairy, and sugar first and foremost. Not to give you advice you’ve probably already heard a zillion times, but I suffered initially from IBS, followed a couple of years later by chronic fatigue which lead to a host of food allergies, and no matter what I did, things didn’t start to get better until I went gluten-free while I was in nutrition school.

      Try two weeks of organic vegetables (with only small amounts of starchy veggies) and clean proteins (free-range turkey, chicken, lean beef) and you should be able to tell if this diet works for your system. Also, take full-spectrum digestive enzymes and probiotics to heal your gut and ease the Lyme disease symptoms.

      You can – and WILL – get better! Good luck!

      Like

      1. Dear Christine,
        Don’t punish yourself by thinking the food you eat is the cause of your problems. It isn’t and can never ever be for that is just the way
        God created food …. to nourish you. If at all it is our bad thoughts that turn good food into bad and the resulting illness is a punishment for the bad thoughts. Spare yourself the agony of it all and heal yourself using MasterMind. Don’t delay …get it this very minute and you will have found your doctor. The real one who can actually heal you.

        Like

  59. Has your doc recommended you follow a gluten-free and/or organic diet? If not, you might want to look into it. There is a lot of evidence mounting to support elimination of gluten (a protein found in wheat, barley & rye) can decrease, and in some cases alleviate the symptoms of the 200+ auto-immune disorders, including fibromyalgia, CFS. It won’t cure your disease, but it could improve your quality of life.

    I hope this information is helpful, and please keep blogging. You are awesome!

    Like

  60. @Erin, so you’re 23 and take 23 pills a day. I’m 25 and take 25 pills a day. When you’re like us and you’re sick and take a ton of pills, it’s kinda nice to find some humor in the little things like that. I’m not going to put down all my war wounds, but I’ll put down some pertinent ones: Fibro, CFS, Pelvic floor spasms, chronic ovarian cysts (but not polycystic) severe vitamin D deficiency, weak immune system, gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, an allergy to bleach (so THAT’S fun because everything in hospitals is cleaned with bleach, so I have to be pumped full of benadryl through my port), four surgeries over the past two years, and currently I have C.diff. And the really funny thing? I was super healthy until I got a really bad GI infection three years ago, and all of this was brought on (except for the lactose intolerance).

    Very glad to have found your blog to keep me company!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi anna … so at 26 .. you will take 26 and at 30 may be 30. And what will happen to your body if you keep pumping so many chemicals into it. Listen up dear …there is no reason for you not to believe that you can be 100% cured. Just buy my MasterMind … it is written to help people heal themselves.Buy it today. Life is too precious to waste it any other way but super healthy.

      Like

  61. hey I have mercury poisoning, parasites and over 35 food allergies, and candida. Cause? Gluten and environmental toxins. Solution? Osteopath, microscopist and acupunture.
    My situation.

    Like

  62. Before I had my gall bladder removed (as a last resort to possibly cure my nausea), I kept getting the IBS diagnosis. After the gall bladder was removed, and a rather long and painful recovery, I have no doubt that I have IBS. Whenever I get extremely upset, I definitely experience IBS symptoms. I don’t believe IBS is bull shit, but I do believe it’s overly diagnosed as a way to put a name on symptoms when some doctors don’t want to explore other options. I also believe that my surgery recovery caused my borderline lupus and Graves disease (both currently in remission). Nausea still here, nearly every day at 4:00 PM. Thanks for your blog! I look forward to reading it more :)

    Like

    1. No offense, but I’ve had my gall bladder removed and I would hardly call it a long and painful recovery… It’s about as noninvasive as it can get. You’re overreacting.

      Like

      1. Highly dependent on WHEN it was removed. If in the last 5-10 years, then laproscopic surgery will make for a relatively quick recovery. If it occurred awhile ago, could have had open surgery and thus a much longer recovery. Regardless of method, there is the potential for complications such as infections, etc., that could prolong recovery. Before you attack someone in a public forum about their personal situation (under the mask of anonymity, nonetheless, making you a truly courageous person), perhaps you should pause, think for a second, and try to see if they could have experienced what they describe.

        Like

      2. I had my gallbladder removed laparoscopically about a year ago, and yes, it was certainly a long and painful recovery. People have different pain tolerances, and my fibro certainly didn’t help recovery because every pain is magnified 10x. If you don’t know how someone reacts to pain, then please don’t tell that person that he or she is “overreacting.”

        Like

      3. It also depends on whether or not you have a normal immune system. For those of us who don’t, recovery can be much longer and more complex than expected. I have learned to always plan on being out of commission for twice as long as the doctor tells me I will, and even had my last surgeon accuse me of not following his aftercare instructions (which I was following to a T) because I healed so slowly.

        Like

    2. Overreacting? If you had seen my hospital expirience with having mine removed you would most certainly understand how for some people its as painful or worse than unmedicated childbirth. Esp for someone with fibromyalgia. Laproscopic can be no joke, if your body does not expel the gas left over in a timely manner because your bowels do not come out of the anestetic like they predict. 5 days of pacing hallways, laxitives, puking, crying, and going off ALL pain meds to get things moving taught me that.

      Like

  63. Hey Mary, love your blog! I’ve been dealing with a host of health issues that are much different than yours… but I’ve found great value in the following documentaries about general health and healing and the profound effect that diet has on our body functions. Just thought I’d pass it along. You can stream them all on Netflix
    “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”
    “Food Matters”
    “Forks Over Knives”
    “Gerson Therapy”
    I particularly like the Gerson therapy (even though it’s targeted at cancer patients, which I am not) because it just makes sense.
    Much respect,
    Linz

    Like

  64. my two cents: going off gluten did make me stop shitting my brains out and having stabby stomach pain, but it didn’t really change my pain levels elsewhere. which means I’ll occasionally have a damn cheezburger and suffer for a day or two.

    I’d die if I had to take that many pills. I have hella bad dysphagia and have to powder/chew any pills I take. SEXY.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gosh … all I can say after helping so many people is that …enjoy that cheeseburger … it aint not the cause of your problems . Problems are caused by an over active imagination which prevents you from enjoying what you eat. Buy MasterMind and read it and you will enjoy that cheeseburger without any regrets. Its good for you anyway for it is the cause of your happiness so pray educate me as to how it can cause you a problem.

      Like

  65. my thyroid disorder and subsequently long list of auto-immune problems (that mimics most of yours), including a now extremely dangerous gluten allergy, all were caused by taking birth control pills in my teens. i wish you all health and wellness, and most of all, some peace of mind. it was nice to know i wasn’t going crazy, though the docss let me feel like i was. i know eat only pure food made from cratch and i can bike for mile and get up with smiles (most days). best to you all

    Like

    1. All your problems are caused by the guilt you are suffering from taking those birth control pills. Forgive yourself and get on with your life. Buy MasterMind to help yourself get there.

      Like

  66. a friend of mine was bedridden at length with what seemed like chronic fatigue and lyme disease, but was what turned out to be brucellosis. she is a RN and has been treating herself with alpha-lipoic acid intravenously. it has had miraculous results.

    and yes, celiac disease can cause all sorts of inflammatory problems throughout the system. a test is absolutely merited.

    Like

  67. Hi Mary, I love your blog. I also have Fibromyalgia, and I have Interstitial Cystitis, Endometriosis, Chronic Migraines, Chronic Kidney Stones, and Arthritis. I’m 23 and I take 23 pills a day. I think it’s great that you’re so open about your illnesses and I really like knowing that someone else knows what it’s like to deal with the pain and frustration that comes along with not being able to do simple tasks without becoming exhausted. I also live in Louisiana (Gramercy), and I hate Wal-Greens, too. You should try using your local Winn-Dixie pharmacy. That’s what I use and they’re great. I’ve gotten to know all the people that work there (obviously because I’m always there either picking up or dropping off) and it’s always a great experience. Just a thought!

    Like

    1. Hi Erin,
      Please read my blog and buy MasterMind today as I no more words left to explain this after writing a 100 different comments. Dear Erin at 23 .. you do not need to make your life so miserable. Please please buy MasterMind and throw those 23 tablets out of the window.

      Like

  68. I agree with both of the people who have commented. I myself have Celiac’s and it can cause a whole bunch of the health problems you just listed.

    Like

  69. I’m no doctor but know three people with Celiacs who were incorrectly diagnosed with IBS, RLS and general digestive issues/unable to absorb nutrients problems. My mother who has Fibro benefits from a gluten-free diet. I would also check into gluten intolerance! Love your blog!

    Like

  70. Hey Mary, just curious – have you ever been checked out for Celiac (gluten intolerance). It can cause a lot of your conditions – CFS, IBS, iron deficiency, RLS – and could have been brought on by the Lyme disease.

    Like

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