The Importance of People, People!

There’s something that is harder than being sick, and that is being alone. My mom runs a CFS/Fibro support group in Covington, LA. I’ve been to a few of them. It’s really funny when I go because it’s me and a bunch of old farts. (Just kidding mom!!) While I am by far the youngest person there, age doesn’t seem to matter. We all share something that makes us see eye to eye on a level that most other people just can’t get to. They’re lucky!

The last meeting showed me the other side of the illness, and that is the depression that goes along with it. Beyond our chemicals being screwy and causing depression and other cognitive challenges, there is sometimes a feeling that you’re all alone and nobody gets it. The truth is it’s very hard for people to understand an illness that they’ve 1.never heard of and 2. the only thing they’ve heard is that it’s made up. There is a demoralizing feeling when you see people roll their eyes at your situation, call you lazy, crazy, or starved for attention. I’ve heard it all honestly, and by the end of last year I was so sick I actually stopped caring about people’s perception about it. The truth is I was too weak to take on another battle.

The beauty of that is, I stopped giving my energy to something that in the end, doesn’t matter. People don’t need to believe you. They don’t have to feel bad for you. Those things aren’t going to get you better anyway. Because our energy is so limited, we should choose very carefully to what and to whom we give it. Giving non-believers a smidegeon of it is a waste. I don’t mean that you should ignore them altogether, in fact I think it is good to share current information with people you care about so they can understand a little bit of what it is you’re dealing with. But beyond that, it’s up to them. Don’t focus on changing people’s minds. They’ll end up getting it or they won’t, but that’s not our cause ultimately. Getting BETTER is!

Support groups are a more constructive way to connect with people that you don’t have to convince you’re sick. If you don’t have one in your area, you should consider starting one. I guarentee people will join! Anyway, there is one thing I’ve realized throughout the last year of being very sick. And that is you can’t do it alone. Our egos don’t like to admit that, but it’s the simple truth. For me, my mom was my savior. I am not sure where I would be if it weren’t for her. The last few days in my apartment before I moved in with her, I would be really hungry or really thirsty, but feel too weak to make dinner or fill a glass of water. I know that sounds like an exaggeration but it really isn’t. Beyond that, sometimes the idea of dinner overwhelmed me. Trying to think of all the ingredients I would need to make something, going to the store, even choosing what I wanted would make my already hurting head spin. So I’d eat something random like pickles and maybe some cheese and crackers if I was lucky. I’d never get better that way. On a simple level, moving back in with my mom at the peak of my illness saved me because I started eating healthy meals and drinking water. Having someone there for you is so vital with an illness like this. So if you have someone who is there for you, give them a kiss today. And if you ARE the person that helps, keep it up. Sometimes it’s a thankless job, but I honestly don’t think I would’ve made it on my own. Actually I know I wouldn’t have.

The point is, we’re people. And people need people. And sick people REALLY need people. Just not other sick people, then we’d just be a bunch of sick people going hungry in our own homes. That’s all for now.

Peace Love Health and Happiness.

3 thoughts on “The Importance of People, People!

  1. You are so right about not putting energy towards what other people think about your illness. I’m totally at the point where I don’t care what people think. For so long I stayed inside all the time because it was so hard to walk and a few months ago I finally got a wheel chair. I highly recommend it! People give me funny looks when I get up and walk out of the chair but who cares? I can go shopping now! I’m like “Hey! Wheel me over there to that shoe rack.”

    PS Darla I think the exact same thing about support groups. You’re
    not alone.


  2. I think about starting a support group, but I always talk myself out of it because I’d likely be too exhausted to show up! Also it would be another responsibility to feel guilty about. Isn’t that awful? But it’s true.


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