I’ve been thinking a lot about my liver. It’s like, 25 pills a day…my liver must be in overdrive processing all the crap I swallow. But in my anatomy class I was looking at the liver on the model that shows all the organs, and it’s huge! Like much bigger than I thought. I always assumed it’d look like a spleen or kidney or something, but no, it stretches from your right hypochondriac region to your epigastric region. That’s two whole regions! None of the other organs take up that much space. Well the intestines take up a lot, but you get it. Big organ the liver is. And I really hope it will be functioning by the time I am 50 but I often worry it won’t. Can you get liver transplants? I’ll ask my lab teacher.
I had another dream I was dying last night. Well first I had a dream I was looking at a horse and the horse’s head was on fire. It was really creepy. I even consciously thought “I’ll need to tell my mom about this.” Then it transitioned into me being attached to a parachute that wasn’t functioning properly. I kept thinking I was going to crash and burn and die but I didn’t. I would land OK. And then again, whisked up into the air, clenching my teeth and waiting to crash. Pretty stressful. The last part of the dream I was in a car with my dad and someone else that I can’t place. Again the car was attached to the parachute and being thrown all over the place. Only this time, I was calm. I closed my eyes and my thinking was this: It’s fine. If I die and there is no afterlife, then this is the end and I won’t have consciousness to suffer. If there is an afterlife I’ll get to see a bunch of people I miss and probably bounce around on some awesome cumulonimbus clouds. I always imagine Heaven to be filled with pink cumulonimbus clouds. Anyway it was the first time in my stressful dreams that I had attained composure and a feeling of calm before death, which rarely happens in those dreams, so I’ll consider that a win. Score.
I’ve been feeling crappy but functionally crappy for the last week. If I can get myself out of bed, take my meds, drink 3 cups of coffee, I am usually feeling alive about an hour later. It’s that first hour that is tough to push through. Monty usually helps with that because he gets anxious to go out and if I don’t get up he eventually paws me in the face until I start moving. He’s my best motivator, really. I still worry if I’m on the right track. I am working up to go to nursing school but when I talk to people in the program, they work very long hours and study very long hours. I just wonder if I will be able to handle it. But, I’m going to keep trying. Maybe I’ll just be a nursing student for like 4 or 5 years if that’s how long it takes. But I won’t sit around and be an invalid. That’s depressing. I gotta try stuff. Even if I fail.
Anyway, going to try to study more about neurons and the nervous system. It looks like it’s about to storm outside, so that is exciting for me. I like to just sit by a window and watch a storm for as long as it lasts. Sometimes I feel like I could do that for days. Or years. But Monty wouldn’t like that now would he. Peace!
Health Happiness and Functioning 50 Year Old Livers
4 thoughts on “My Liver”
I’m with you on this. I’ve had endometriosis since I was eleven and now fibromyalgia. Apparently, when I was eleven, the world was dumb. My doctor advised me to take six to eight ibuprofen every four to six hours during my period for cramps. I probably took enough ibuprofen that you could still pull the top of my head back and a generic orange ibuprofen pill would pop out of my mouth, like I’m the pain-killing pez dispenser. This is why I have absolutely no problem drinking now. What am I going to do, kill my liver?
Anyway, hang in there. It does have moments of better and moments of worse. The secret is to cram as much good as you can into your moments of better.
My sister suffers from Fibro as well. We have been using doTERRA essential oils on her and she’s been taking their vitamins (inconsistently unfortunately, but we’re about to rev that up a thousand notches). She is so sore and tired and her immunity is almost always shot. She suffers from migraines almost constantly. The good news is that the oils and pills have been helping her, but they are completely natural. We feel confident that once we become consistent she will be back at 100%. We’re very excited about her progress. You can check out my blog to follow up on her. We don’t really have anything up yet, but within a month or so you’ll really get to see what her progress is and she’ll be writing her own posts, since obviously I am not a fibro expert (aka someone who suffers with it). http://www.FamilyHealthNaturally.com I hope you’ll hop on over and find some much needed support once you’re there. Her liver is something that we’ve shared a concern over. We’ve gotten her on fewer drugs and downing less tylenol with some of the different oils and since she moved in with me in August we have cut her Tylenol useage in half (which is really good, because she still takes way over the allowed amount), and have only made 1 ER visit and that was in September. We’ve been able to avoid several with the oils. :) They truly are a blessing.
I hate to be the stranger who shows up because of your facebook post and then is all, “LET ME TELL YOU HOW TO BE,” but I wanted to say, I suffer from Fibromyalgia and CFS, and something that has really helped is weed. Look, you’re in college. I know you can get your hands on some. But seriously, my state has a medical marijuana program, and it has given me my life back. I never took 25 pills a day, but I took ten and that sucked plenty. Now, I’m off all those meds and I can like, have a relationship with my children, which is cool. If you know somebody that can hook you up to try it and your doctor thinks it’s cool, it might be worth a shot. Or, it might not. Like I said, I’m a random stranger, butting in where it’s not necessary for me to. I just have a feeling of solidarity with literally every young person on the planet who has an invisible illness. I’m going to keep reading your blog, because Fibromy-Awesome is the best title I’ve ever read in my life. Keep being rad.
Not all drugs are metabolized by the liver. Chances are, some of yours aren’t, either. Yes, you can get a liver transplant. The donor doesn’t even have to give you ALL of his or her liver. Just a piece. The rest (in the donor) will regenerate), and the part that the recipient has will grow to occupy the space formerly taken up by their natural liver. In this way, living donors can offer pieces of their liver. Ya know, if you’re worried. Best of luck with school and everything.