15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook

1. Take pictures of their feet.

This is what our feet look like!

2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.

3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.

4. Complain about bad service at a fine dining establishments. “Never eating at Applebee’s AGAIN!”

5. Express their extreme excitement to see their best friends tonight, Britney, Whitney, and Sarah!!! LOVE YOU LADIES!!

6. Take pictures wearing a lot of makeup and looking really preppy while simultaneously making a “hard” facial expression and holding up what they consider to be a gangster sign. Potential caption: ‘Straight thuggin.’

We’re hard!!!

7. Take pictures of undeserving food.

I effing love oatmeal!!! Mmmmmmm.

8. Make their status the song lyrics of any Kings of Leon Song.

9. Take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really?

10. Write angry letters to companies (Dear EZ PARK, I hate you!), unorganized groups of people (Dear slutty freshmen who think that leggings can be worn as pants..), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!)

11. Subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.”

12. Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day. “Getting my oil changed today. Then getting much needed groceries. Then it’s off to the post office to return a package. Then stopping by the gyno. Will probably need some gas by the end, so I may stop at the gas station. But I might be tired so I’ll probably just get it in the morning on my way to pick up a prescription. But if I’m not very tired I’ll probably just get the gas on the way home. Again, unless I am tired.”

13. Express their distaste for facebook on facebook and threaten to leave facebook to their facebook friends.

14. Ask seemingly rhetorical questions. “It’s cool to do a bunch of meth and babysit 20 six year olds, right? Hehe.”

15. Write a status in another language. Parce que, Je suis tres intelligente!!

Love,

Mary. A white girl on facebook, guilty of most of these things.

**My friend Matt Damon (aka Kaitlin) collaborated on the trends of facebook with me. A much more detailed version will be in our book we’re writing. Which will be published….one day…

1,818 thoughts on “15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook

  1. Hahaha… That made me lol!

    I loved it, good reading, some of em’ I actually do.. (BUT if I do have to take a pic of my food, it needs to be a little bit more yummy than oatmeal…) XD hahaha!

    The ”take pic of their feet” – gawd have seen so many who does that, but I dont know why? But well.. XD Looks fun I guess?

    I love writing song lyrics into my facebook status, if it fits my current mood, but okay, I just love songs too much I guess? Ahem…

    Awesome post, *liked and + Followed u!

    A++ for this one! ^^

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      1. Looks like “Susan Ann Lopez” made a Non-White Girls list.

        Of course the list is more Anti-White than the 15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook list.

        Typical.

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    1. Why only black girls? In fact why not expand to the entire racial septum while you’re at it? (disturbing how you mentioned blacks only but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt) This post was made by a white girl who observed things about herself and others so she made a JOKING post about it. Yours on the other hand would rightly be called racist as it would be obvious you are doing it to be an ass.

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      1. I am simply saying that if this same list was directed towards WOC
        (I used Black for an example), it would of been met with an angry mob of comments.

        I may be an ass, for stating the obvious.

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  2. Don’t forget white, young mothers. They love to throw advice in to every comment:

    Real example:

    LAUREN: making popcorn strands for our christmas tree and every time i pick up a piece of popcorn, i have to remind myself to put it on the strand and not in my mouth.

    SALLY: If it’s air-popped without butter, it’s a great snack!

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    1. hahahahahahahahhahaahhaha….breath…hahahahahahahahahahaahahhahaahaha…dude, that was genius mate…simplicity i love. pop a baby out and now you’ve got advice on how to live. STFU new moms – NO ONE CARES. love it dude…..hahahahaha

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  3. lol. I’m not sure why I am laughing because all these things annoy the hell out of me on FB…. But I guess the fact that everyones got the same friends is kind of amusing. FB drives me mad but I can’t imagine living without it. Congrats on FP!

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  4. Lmfao so true! I don’t see it anymore because I deactivated mine, but it lives on twitter too. I have a serious mix of friends and it spreads. It’s contagious! lol

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  5. I am so over people posting questions like ” a day of shopping and lunch with the boyfriend?” followed by “yes please” or “don’t mind if i do”

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  6. What about white guys who constantly imitate the douche bags from the Jersey Shore? When did it become REALLY uncool to JUST BE WHITE?

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  7. All my hoes and hotties on facebook do these 15 things. Constantly. You make it seem funny. They make it seem like I should DEFRIEND them! What would the world come to if I did that, Mary and Kaitlin?

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  8. Too true, I think people do stuff a little differently in England. For example we like to do location updates but from pubs to try and look cool. Xx

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  9. Don’t forget posing with their drinks where ever they are. At a bar, restaurant, home, tailgate if they’re cool enough to be at one. If there is alcohol in and around them, they’ll pick it up raise it and strike a pose.

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  10. That’s hilarious. I have done a few of these, although my friends of other ethnicities have done a few of them as well.

    You, or someone you know, should do a other demographics because I notice a lot of trends in other groups as well. Like mirror pics with fish-lips and the middle finger. Bah

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  11. Thank you for this wonderful, hilarious, and touching blog. I am a 32-year-old English teacher who struggles with some currently undiagnosed chronic immune thingy (with the bonus side of sometimes crippling anxiety) and I have also recently started camping out at my parents’ house–it’s a humbling, terrifying, and funny time. I also rave at Bill O’Reilly, which my parents think is a riot–and recently follwed a viewing by stomping down the stairs from the living room to my basement abode having a 2-year-old temper tantrum about how my ‘parents just didn’t get it’.

    At any rate, it’s comforting to know that there is at least one other adult woman out there, who had their %&$# togeher and then life just–well, combusted. Thank you for writing. I’m a new subscriber:)

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    1. Ever been called an Oreo or Zebra or accused of “wanting to be white”? Do you embrace your minority culture, but refuse to be defined by cultural sterotypes? Visit readmyblipps.wordpress.com and conversate with me!

      -readmyblipps

      Like

  12. What about posing for your profile pic with random children you might have babysat once, found at a party or a missions trip in Africa, belong to your best friend’s older sister’s inlaw’s cousin, or just happened to pass on the street and thought were cute.

    or is that just my friends?

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  13. really funny! these things i always see in my news feed too.. and they are not always from girls.

    …and by the way, my friends and i are not even white :)

    greetings from the philippines!
    congratulations on being freshly pressed!

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    1. I’m sorry to ruin your image of us white girls, but it’s not only ‘white girls’ that do these things. I can name a huge number of different types of people that are, as you say, ‘lame, boring, spoiled, and self-centered’! You must remember not to stereo type one group of people because of something just a select number or people.
      It’s people like you, I believe that stereo type people like Muslims, because of course they all must be terrorists out to get everyone who doesn’t believe, right? Or who stereotype hispanics or african americans or anyone who is different from you. Get a life and learn a little about other people. It might surprise you what you learn!

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  14. haha yessss, exactly! Don’t for get peace-sign pictures (what are we all hippies again, and I didn’t get the notice?) and mirror self-pics. (No, I do not want to see the inside of your bathroom). Hilarious, I love it.

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  15. Pingback: What I’m Reading
    1. People are so annoying .. Just enjoy the post and stop being so picky.. their are no intentions of it being feminist im sure. And if your taking this post too seriously than I would recomend stop hating that she mentioned something that you do and it offended you or simply because you have no life and no friends and other people do! get a life people, smile every once in a while I promise itll help!

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  16. This is ridiculously funny! Why? Because it is ridiculously true. Amen to number 6, but who doesn’t love a good thug face?

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  17. Funny! lol :) (Just joshin I never use that “lol :)” thing) Anyways, never had a FaceBook and I have been influenced to stick with that choice. I, too, am a white chick. (Do not want to be influenced to do that kind of stuff)

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  18. or within the first five min. someone mentions that its up on their facebook page followed by..do you have facebook? OH EMM GEE….send me an invite!..love your blog!

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  19. Love this… I thought I already posted a comment but it didn’t show up… I am guilty of #1 (and a few others)… I like to post pictures of the exotic locations my feet take me to. Mountain tops, skiing, hiking, black tie gala’s, white water rafting, whatever…

    Funny post!

    I did manage a post earlier about some of the negative comments: To those who are spewing critical responses but choose to remain anonymous… your words would be more effective if you owned them… don’t be a coward. It is easy to criticize when no one knows who you are. I dare you to be critical and actually sign your name.

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  20. im a freshman and i wore leggings to school today… awkwarddd
    at least they’re running tights and not just plain leggings right?

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  21. Yup, I’m guilty – of at least the first half of the list and what was even more hilarious (for me) was the first one. I am forever taking pictures of my feet at whatever “exotic” location I am finding them… on top of mountains, white water rafting, black tie gala’s… guilty as charged.

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  22. Your observations stupid and banal, but you have given a voice to many stupid and banal people as evidenced by their often mispelled comments. For this, you are to be commended.

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  23. Sorry, yet another comment on your AMAZING blog post here. I cringe at the fact that I have definitely (as a white girl) ticked some of these – especially the song lyrics. Though, I’m not a massivo Kings of Leon fan.
    So true, it’s embarrassing how sad we girls are! But boys upload pictures of themselves with 3 Maccy D’s Big Mac meals, and update their statuses about playing CoD and other boysy games haha!

    Like

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