1. Take pictures of their feet.
2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.
3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.
4. Complain about bad service at a fine dining establishments. “Never eating at Applebee’s AGAIN!”
5. Express their extreme excitement to see their best friends tonight, Britney, Whitney, and Sarah!!! LOVE YOU LADIES!!
6. Take pictures wearing a lot of makeup and looking really preppy while simultaneously making a “hard” facial expression and holding up what they consider to be a gangster sign. Potential caption: ‘Straight thuggin.’
7. Take pictures of undeserving food.
8. Make their status the song lyrics of any Kings of Leon Song.
9. Take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really?
10. Write angry letters to companies (Dear EZ PARK, I hate you!), unorganized groups of people (Dear slutty freshmen who think that leggings can be worn as pants..), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!)
11. Subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.”
12. Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day. “Getting my oil changed today. Then getting much needed groceries. Then it’s off to the post office to return a package. Then stopping by the gyno. Will probably need some gas by the end, so I may stop at the gas station. But I might be tired so I’ll probably just get it in the morning on my way to pick up a prescription. But if I’m not very tired I’ll probably just get the gas on the way home. Again, unless I am tired.”
13. Express their distaste for facebook on facebook and threaten to leave facebook to their facebook friends.
14. Ask seemingly rhetorical questions. “It’s cool to do a bunch of meth and babysit 20 six year olds, right? Hehe.”
15. Write a status in another language. Parce que, Je suis tres intelligente!!
Love,
Mary. A white girl on facebook, guilty of most of these things.
**My friend Matt Damon (aka Kaitlin) collaborated on the trends of facebook with me. A much more detailed version will be in our book we’re writing. Which will be published….one day…
FibroM.E.-Awesome 
For some reason, most husband and wife Facebook duos feel compelled to have in-depth conversations via the status update and subsequent comments, and will eventually resort to using pet names.
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Loved 10th & 11th the most!
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IT’S VERY RACISM! I’M WHITE, AND NONE OF THOSE ARE TRUE!
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Wow, good thing this is a funny blog about a GENERALIZATION / STEREOTYPE of what she and her friends do (who just happen to be white), and not some super important, world changing piece of literature that will one day mold who we are as a species eh!
You need to relax!, I am fairly certain that the creators of this didn’t have you in mind to piss off when they wrote it.
And “It’s very racism” is not a sentence. Look it up.
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dannggg chill you obviously need to take a joke im white too and I just laughed! #16 they think everything is personal to them. #17 they also make up sentances “its very racism!”
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shut d fuck up it ture.. u people are soo damn.. yhur maiking a fool out of yhurself, finkin u guys are black nd hard…but really it stupid..nd yh its all WHITE girls…
i rest my case..
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do me a favor?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_English
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im white too and i only do some of those grr RACISM
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what five letter swear word starts with an “h”? as in “h****”.
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I love Crystal Meth lol
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Wow, I really think some people need to chill out a bit and take this for the light-hearted ribbing it is meant to be. They are poking fun at themselves, and their friends. I sincerely doubt that there is anything racist behind this. Just because something is funny, does not make it racist. If I see someone fall/ slip/ trip/ whatever and I laugh, I am laughing at what happened, not who it happened to. Funny. Not Racist. We are laughing at what she is saying she and her friends do, not that they do it because they are white girls. People who think the opposite, I feel, need to look past the end of their noses and see the whole picture, not just the cover.
Relax. Enjoy. Laugh. Argue racist issues, where racist issues are present, not a harmless blog about shit on FB.
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Wow, I really think everyone needs to chill out, and look at this for the light-hearted ribbing it is meant to be. These girls are poking fun at themselves, and their friends. I sincerely doubt there is anything racist about it. Just because something is funny does not make it racist. If i see a person fall/ slip/ whatever and I laugh, i am laughing at what happened, not who it happened to. Funny. Not Racist. We are laughing at what she is saying not that she is saying “white girls” do it. Action, not title…..
These people need to look further than the end of their nose, and see at the WHOLE picture, not just the cover.
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Reblogged this on Searching for Tyler Durden and commented:
Haha, too funny.
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Hehe, my girlfriend is guilty of a few of these. It is both true and funny. :-)
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Rats ! Some of these things I qualify for,but I,m Puerto Rican qualify , : ))But the whole taking pics of the feet together with amazing nail polish on is something my awesome daughter and I love to do once ina while : )))))))))
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It was a great read! I showed it to all my white friends, and they loved it!
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this is sooo funny, and i to am guilty doing these things!! LOL. which is why sometimes, i pause and have 2nd thoughts writing somethn on my wall, just cause! :D
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totes brill. lerv.
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Amazing! =D
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Ha haaaaa… Sounds like you have lot of white girls in your FB friend’s list. LOL…
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If you just figure out how to do it on your own, it is same as leaving your love life to the fate.
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The best solution is to follow one or two simple system which is proven to work.
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A tyrannical, tormented youth, you poor thing!
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What about “15 Things Black Girls Do on Facebook”? I’d LOVE to hear this one!!! Ohhhh I’m sure it’ll be downright NASTY!! :)
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wow, Nasty huh
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Here it is. “15 Things Black Girls Do on FaceBook.
http://bit.ly/uWv53L
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Im glad you specified… White girls.
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As if skin color has anything to do with any of these things!
Hmm
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Kinda does I mean different races communicate much differently face to face and on facebook
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This.is.hilarious! Ha! Nice work.
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Hollllllllly Shhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Lmao!!!!!!!!!!!
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I hate generalizations no matter who they target.
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Would you say you hate them in general?
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My favorite is the subtle messages posted in the hopes that someone will ask them to elaborate… “I can’t believe today is the day!” or “It can only get better.”
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I’ll admit this is funny, though a bit stereotypical. I don’t do any of these things myself, but I am friends with people who do (example: Just looked at my facebook page and someone had just posted a picture of their feet!), which makes this all the funnier!
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Reblogged this on Double Barrel Outdoors and commented:
Beautiful…
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See most of these on a daily basis sadly, probably time to remove some friends.
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Bravo! I wish that all the people who really NEED to read this read it…
PS: You forgot about a post mentioning something about the 5K they are “training” for…
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Je suis d’accord… il faut pas copier et te comportera comme c’est le tien! Either way the post was ok… another reason for facebook to stop!
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I’m Asian but just as guilty of all of the above.
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asian girls are on a whole other level
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Haha, I like it, it made me laugh as I have seen examples of all of these on my Facebook wall recently (:
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Loving this! A much deserved http://www.whitewhine.com shout out!!
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So glad I stumbled onto your blog! VERY funny love it! =)
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hmmm… I gather you think you are weird and quirky, probably wear Star Wars shirts and self identify as a nerd. But the only thing weird/quirky about you is that you are 27 and have terrible music taste. Justin Beiber? Lady Gaga?
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I dont wear star wars t shirts or self identify as a nerd. I do however, have terrible taste in music.
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Sounds like things Black girls and all people for that matter like to do on Facebook as well. Lol!
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Lol !!
I definitely am guilty of quite a few from the above though I’m not white.But haven’t done the feet thing yet.
I guess it’s not too late to take pics of my feet and see what everyone has to say about it then only maybe I can add this up in my list :)
http://dubaimumz.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/10-things-moms-love-to-do-on-facebook/
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LOVE this post. It made me laugh out loud, probably because im guilty myself of a few of these!
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It’s all so true! I’ve done a lot of these. And just for the sake of being ridiculous my friend and I have acomplished all of them since last week lol
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wow thats wats called a stupid idiotic post, yet cute funny and sweet :)
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Number 14 has always made me waNt to punch my face through my computer.
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this is awesome lol
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LOL!!! That’s true!!! So funny!!
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I am white and don’t do any of these things. Maybe this should be renamed; ‘Stupid things shallow women do of every race’. More accurate.
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Ahh, i see myself doing a majority of these things i’m sad to say.
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Hilarious!
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this was great, aboslutely spot on! ;)
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100% TRUE!!!
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16. Constantly reminding everyone where (A) their train or bus is and (B) telling them about the ‘weird guy’ looking at them. On another point all people, regardless of colour and sex love Back to the future, so this is good news, http://laymansnews.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/libyans-grant-amnesty-to-doc-brown/
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I think the “Straight Thuggin’.” was the best potential caption evah! :)
Great post!
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How about posting the minor scholastic or athletic achievements of their kids?
Like: Bobby brought home his first “A” EVER! We’re so proud of him!
Or: Johnnie scored his first basket of the season. Woohoo!
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EXACTLY!! I wrote a list of my own about the 40ish crowd, as an homage to the “white girls” list”: http://open.salon.com/blog/geekate/2011/12/10/15_things_middle_aged_women_love_to_do_on_facebook
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Dropped into your page to see the list. Being 47 myself i thought it would be interesting. It did not reflect me or any of my forty something friends. I guess we are a little more hardcore with grown kids. Way past the soccer mom stage.
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Okay… kind of guilty of the feet thing but I didn’t take the picture OR upload it…. I also didn’t de-tag myself from it… and I may have used it once as my profile picture…
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Guilty. Dear Lord. How embarrassing!
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I allways thought i was a white girl ,my parents are white ,, grands as far back as i know ,but i must confess i never did any of those white girl things they all sound very selfabsorbed.
,but being raised in europe might have something to do with that
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haha you are such a loser!
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I’m quite sure it isn’t just American women that post stuff like that. I can tell you that a good 50% of my female friends, myself included, don’t post that crap and they were all raised in America. I have more european friends that post things like this then my American friends. So while some people (including American’s, Europeans, Indians and any other nationality or country) post things like this and are selfabsorbed, not all of them are. So just because you were raised in europe does not make you any better then anyone else that was raised in America.
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Amen… to That! I have a very diverse FB group and ALL have done at least one of those things..And its not just woman, its men as well… why, because its a Human thing… maybe it should be called ” 15 irritating things that PEOPLE do on FB.” Especially since youre dealing with people from a very broad age and cultural range…or you could call it…”I have nothing better to write so Ill bash my white fb friends…who are too stupid to think its about them or how stupid you THINK they are.”
Im sure you’ll have plenty of readers, ignorance is abundant and many are literate.
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Is Europe where you picked up your poor spelling and grammar as well? Or just your undeserved superiority complex?
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Omg you’re my hero! It is so true! And I do half of ’em :-/
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If you ever do another list of things people do on facebook that gets them un-friended feel free to use these : Constantly posting things their children do or say, “OMG! Jacob just farted!” or “Tiffany just asked me why dogs lick their butt!”……about ten times a day……
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Reblogged this on A Pertinent Riot and commented:
So very true!
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Reply to: 15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook
15 THINGS NON-WHITE GIRLS LOVE TO DO ON FB:
1. They take pictures of their lovely brown, yellow, red, black faces and bodies—not their feet— because they don’t have white girl issues with teen acne and fast food fed muffin tops (yeah we have ‘em but don’t give a damn).
2. They express extreme pleasure in their work day as they are happy to have a job in this highly competitive job market and realize their boss will see any post no matter how well privacy protected by FB. Ditto for the alcohol reference; which is really not a non-white girl thing anyway.
3. They have no need to thank their hubby for being the “best hubby in the world” because it’s not a contest and they would never consider referring to their life partner as their “hubby” only “caro mio” during sex—which they have regularly and not only on “date night”.
4. They never complain about bad service at restaurants because they have learned from their families to respect the work of others which makes personal encounters a pleasure. “I really enjoyed my meal; the people here are really great to us every time we come in!”
5. They are unashamed to express their extreme excitement and love for their best friends and/or family –which is largely the purpose of social media, Maria, Saouri, and Tanisha!!! Love YOU GIRLS!!
6. They make sure that in any pictures posted they are wearing a lot of makeup and looking really sexy while simultaneously using the throwing “kisses” facial expression , holding their hands on their hips, and crossing their legs (as if having to pee). Potential caption: ‘Red carpet here I come!’
7. Take pictures of their Abuela’s sopa-soooo deserving of immortality-and other family recipes as they love to cook and their children have never seen ready-to-eat anything. Yummmmmm.
8. They would never make their status the lyrics of a song because other people’s words aren’t a status—unless, of course, they are Gandhi’s, Tupac’s, or MLK’s.
9. They wouldn’t take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really? As they are not “Mean Girls” and really don’t care what “white girls” do anyway.
10. They would never write “open” angry letters to companies (Dear Walgreens, I hate you!), innocent groups of people (Dear Asian students speaking on your cell phones in Chinese in the library…), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!) as this would be blaming others for their shitty day or more likely shitty life, which is sooo not a non-white girl way to roll.
11. They would never subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.” Because they have only one face and it would be pointed directly at you and in yours if you were to ever STAB THEM IN THE BACK!!
12. They would never document exceedingly mundane activities for the day on FB or Blogs and continually wine and complain about how woe is their shitty existence because they are very satisfied with themselves and their seemingly mundane lives and are too busy fighting traffic on their way to work to text a mobile update of their current where abouts .
13. They would never express their distaste for Facebook on Facebook and threaten to leave Facebook to their Facebook friends because their friends are not white-girls and do not post white girl tripe to complain about.
14. They don’t often ask rhetorical questions as they find no need for their dramatic quality as there is enough theatricality and drama in their own lives—besides sarcasm and crystal meth is a white-girl thing anyway.
15. They do write their status in other languages because they speak them—sometimes several of them—fluently. Parce que, ils sont très intelligents!
Susan. A brown girl on Facebook, guilty of most of these things.
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you seem to like lists (creative by the way)… if you like lists I think you will like this:
http://spotthestereotype.wordpress.com
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Brown girls maaaaybe(and by brown girls I assume you ONLY speak of mexican americans). NOT african American women and not Indians. Your list is absurd. What several languages do these three cultures speak? Spanish badly? Slang? Hindi? YOU ALL do the same sh&t….you are all American, all loud as hell and in your face nasty, all self absorbed and all Kardash*an like. Quit your moaning. Your group isn’t a top flight catch either. Look out the door because there is no one lining up for any of you. Go watch reality t.v. and feel better about yourself.
Nick. A real man not on Facebook and never guilty of dating or listening to you.
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Sorry, my darlin’ but it really ought to be “elles sont très intelligentes” if you are referring to women. If one wishes to brag about her fluency in other languages, it’s a good idea to be moderately competent at speaking/writing them, n’est pas?
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For someone who purports to be so self-assured you sure appear to take a lot of pleasure in deriding an entire demographic based on tongue-in-check stereotypes.
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uhhh!!!! thank you… !!! Sad thing is there are very few things that are mutually exclusive to one culture…especially idiocracy. Sad that there are sooo many really great things to talk about and the best some people can find is bashing their chosen friends, by race, for what they post on FB.
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This list is Anti White Female and Pro every other race of Female.
This page is a wonderful example of how pop-culture is Anti-White.
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You are a horrible horrible horrible person. I wish you the best of luck in life wondering aimlessly without a clue what is going on. Oh yea your a racist!
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Fabulous!
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awesome… cant wait to make you cry your self to sleep… first of all ya your bodies are disgusting and you dont take pictures of your feet not because your uncomfortable with your body but because you are almost defintely embarrased by your feet most like filled with corns and oversized yellow nails disgusting really… highly competitive? must be difficult with affirmitive action a policy strictly helping you guys get jobs even when whites scores are harder… take a shot of tequilla and be thankful.. he prolly isnt up for hubby of the year, regardless of your name tattooed to your neck domestic violence charges automatically rule him out. i wouldnt complain at a restruant my family worked at either, how was 3 margaritas?… were you planning on vacuuming that carpet?.. your food is good ill give you that but it doesnt mean i want you to smell like burnt cheese and taco grease … like sopa? try soap…your absolutely right tho white girls are the only mean girls and definitely the only humans to ever complain about giving them a bad day… everyone who has read your ignorant list in a mocking stereotypical whiney hispanic accent wants to stab you lol… i have a friend that is “nonwhite” posted about her distaste for facebook yesterday… crystal meth is about as prideful as pissing and shitting yourself in a crammed semi… hopefully your able to teach your family how to speak other languages as well so next time they get my order right. sincerely, white male (you cant even hurt my feelings)
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While the original post was clever and amusing, this one is vicious and seemingly bitter. I’m glad that the non-white females I know do not share your unfair and racist sentiment.
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wow…Im amazed that you know ALL non-white girls. Im terminally White and I do none of the “white girls list,” though I do account for most of the things on yours. Your list is excellent, but the idea behind it is STILL bound by race, culture, and gender.
We should just call the list “15 things that the people I CHOSE” to be friends with on face book do that make them the amazingly different people that they are.
Jil. A terminally White girl on FaceBook who doesnt do tose things… but realize thats its Not a race, age, cultural or gender thing, but a people thing. Who also remembers that she can delete the people she Chose if they really bother me that badly.
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The truth is, this article seems to appeal to every girl outhere, no matter how old they are.
Excellent & Hilarious post!
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I prefer Black guys up my arse
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Make sure you check out http://www.dreblacksofresh.com
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You forgot the women that insist on posting ultrasounds of their unborn kids (big ew) and constantly updating anyone whos unfortunate enough to be in their friends list on the status of their pregnancy. No one really gives two shits, and no, your kid is not cute. Its ugly as hell
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If you’re sick of seeing a pregnant woman talk about her baby on her facebook, sorry, but you’re the one who’s fucking retarded for having someone you dislike that much as a “friend” in the first place.
Seriously, the woman can’t post photos of her life changing events on her page because she might slightly annoy someone on her list?
Grow up, people.
Yours truly. A man who doesn’t want or like kids…who hates illogical bullshit.
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I so agree. The worst of the worst is when they put their baby’s photo as their profile picture and write things like “We’re two months old today!”…yeah you sure sound likeit. At least if we’re talking mental age.
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Wow… the worst of the worst is the person who cannot enjoy the gift of life.
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he he he…this one’s funny…especially the last few . .e .e .e .e good observation yeah..!
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I’m not a white girl but I am guilty of a few of these things. Thought I was playing it cool but you got me down to a tee… Great post, keep up the funny work!
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crap- guilty white girl here.
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Haha, such a great article. I’m a white girl and I pretty much do every one of these!
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These are all so true. I am guilty of a few but know others that do all of them. Thanks for the laugh.
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Laughing All the way!! Hahhaa!!
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I’m guilty of 4, 10, 11, and 12.
the feet thing makes absolutely no sense to me at all!!
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I enjoyed reading your post. I originally read it the first day it was FP’d and it made me chuckle. I came back to the post today and see that the comments have take a…let’s say “interesting” turn!
But, just in case you didn’t know, white girls aren’t the only ones who like to take pictures of their feet…see http://wp.me/p1cZEZ-5b ;)
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Gotta say, this is ingeniously hilarious. And, unfortunately, completely true.
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FB comments generally annoy me and I think you’ve captured them all! Nice job.
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True shit. I see this type of stuff on my news feed daily,especially #11. Those are usually from the girls I went to high school with.
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