15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook

Published on by Mary Gelpi

1. Take pictures of their feet.

This is what our feet look like!

2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.

3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.

4. Complain about bad service at a fine dining establishments. “Never eating at Applebee’s AGAIN!”

5. Express their extreme excitement to see their best friends tonight, Britney, Whitney, and Sarah!!! LOVE YOU LADIES!!

6. Take pictures wearing a lot of makeup and looking really preppy while simultaneously making a “hard” facial expression and holding up what they consider to be a gangster sign. Potential caption: ‘Straight thuggin.’

We’re hard!!!

7. Take pictures of undeserving food.

I effing love oatmeal!!! Mmmmmmm.

8. Make their status the song lyrics of any Kings of Leon Song.

9. Take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really?

10. Write angry letters to companies (Dear EZ PARK, I hate you!), unorganized groups of people (Dear slutty freshmen who think that leggings can be worn as pants..), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!)

11. Subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.”

12. Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day. “Getting my oil changed today. Then getting much needed groceries. Then it’s off to the post office to return a package. Then stopping by the gyno. Will probably need some gas by the end, so I may stop at the gas station. But I might be tired so I’ll probably just get it in the morning on my way to pick up a prescription. But if I’m not very tired I’ll probably just get the gas on the way home. Again, unless I am tired.”

13. Express their distaste for facebook on facebook and threaten to leave facebook to their facebook friends.

14. Ask seemingly rhetorical questions. “It’s cool to do a bunch of meth and babysit 20 six year olds, right? Hehe.”

15. Write a status in another language. Parce que, Je suis tres intelligente!!

Love,

Mary. A white girl on facebook, guilty of most of these things.

**My friend Matt Damon (aka Kaitlin) collaborated on the trends of facebook with me. A much more detailed version will be in our book we’re writing. Which will be published….one day…

1,818 thoughts on “15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook”

  9. I’m a white girl and I think this is hilarious and pretty accurate! I have a few hundred friends on Facebook, most of which are female and white, and I see this stuff all the time.

    I think this was meant to make people laugh and was supposed to be fun, so some people may want to relax a little and not take it so personally….

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Like

    Reply

  10. I think the whole thing is hilarious, even though I do think that these are things that all races post. I also have to say that I post a few of them myself. lol Having said that….I feel like if someone doesn’t like what I post they always have the “Delete This Friend” option. They are required to read what I post on MY page.

    Like

    Reply

  13. I see this crap on my feed every day. I think I’m coming close to the point of saying “I will unfriend you if this raz continues”… or do you think an unfriend on Facebook really terminates a friendship? I never know these days!

    Like

    Reply

    2. There was actually a story recently where a girl deleted someone off her friends and that person got mad and burned the girl’s house down..so I’d be cautious lol.

      Like

      Reply

  17. You forgot one — prob the most important one: in a feeble cry for attention, take a slutty and/or super-hot picture and say “oh i look like crap” and wait for the barrage of desperate guys to comment “oh you’re crazy, you’re beautiful.”

    Like

    Reply

    5. You would think more of us guys would wise up to this technique and realize this is a red flag, strongly indicative of a girl who is as high maintenance as her closet is full of shoes.

      Once you fall into that trap good luck on your daily pop quiz(es) about how she looks or if you think her friend is attractive (and this friend is always blatantly hot).

      Like

      Reply

  19. You forgot one — prob the most important one: in a feeble cry for attention, take a slutty and/or super-hot picture and say “oh i look like crap” and wait for the barrage of desperate guys to comment “oh you’re crazy, you’re beautiful.”

    Like

    Reply

  23. These are funny and I’m guilty of some. The way I see it…If someone doesn’t like what I post they can hit the “Delete this Friend” button. It won’t hurt my feelings. No one is forced to read what they don’t want to read. : )

    Like

    Reply

  25. 11) list their menu for the night. “honey glazed pork chops, braised new potatoes, fresh steamed green beans and chocolate torte for dessert”. and if the husband has made dinner, this is posted in conjunction with #3.

    Like

    Reply

  28. Boy’s will say in the hallway “Hey sexy give me a blowjob” lol its really funny & they mean it forreal,i say “Hell no,you grew you chew it!

    Like

    Reply

  30. I’m not sure which is better, the incredibly accurate/hilarious list, or the fact that the truth upsets little whiny bitches. GREAT JOB!!!

    Like

    Reply

  32. I have no problem with the “White Girls” in your post. Lame.. So many people do. We have a thing in our family called, “White Girl Problems” This is usually referred to by things that are stupid like, hair, make-up, deciding on wardrobe, and FB backlash. If this woman’s blog are observations from a white girl, no matter your race, seeing this on stand up – EVERYONE WOULD BE LAUGHING. It’s not like it was even racist. SHe didn’t call herself or others “Cracker.” Shoot.

    Anyway – The point I wanted to make for you Mary was — Don’t forget about the Cats. Yes, all of those uncomfortable faces being made while their white girl pet owner is squishing faces with them for the excuse to have yet another picture of her boobs being squished together.

    Thanks. TouchE.. Says my status.

    Like

    Reply

  33. At least us white girls dont take a picture of ourselves in our best outfits in the bathroom with the toilet in the back ground while biting our lips like we are sexy…. or taking a pic of ourselves while we are driving to work every morning ( as a “professional” over the age of 25) …..

    Like

    Reply

  38. Lol. 11-14 were pretty good. I am a white girl and I have quit Facebook. My life has gotten so much less fake and I am not obsessed with taking pictures of myself or judging what everyone else is doing/saying. It’s wonderful. I recommend it to everyone.

    Like

    Reply

  43. This was not amusing. The majority of observations in this list have no relation to white girls, or even females all together. It’s so chaotic that you could add any other title to this list and it would more than likely fit just as well as the current one. When you target a specific group of people, you might want to list stereotypical things that actually pertain to that group. Obviously that’s what you thought you did, but you failed.

    Like

    Reply

    2. haha… you must not have any white female friends on FB. It’s so chaotic that you get worked up over someone’s observations. You should probably try to remove the sand from your vagina

      Like

      Reply

      1. hahahah :P ^

        I don’t understand why people are getting all worked up over this?
        It’s funny & mostly true.
        I am a white chick & I take no offense to any of it. The first thing I said after I shared it on facebook was “I don’t know why they specified caucasian. Don’t women of all ethnicities do this silly crap?”

        Have a laugh & go away…happy. sheesh. Girl Power!

        Like

        Reply

  44. This is pretty great. I think there are a few more tho.. Surely there is some link between insecurity and the frequency at which girls change their profile pic, and with frequency of pointless posts.

    Like

    Reply

  45. I would like to add the “I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” status update [while in tears] after a breakup or fight with friends to somehow prove that her white girl life actually doesn’t suck.

    Like

    Reply

  46. This is really funny, reading the comments is almost as good. I see this crap everyday, I can only delete them so quickly. If you ever do one on men, I have a few I’d like to add into the mix.

    Like

    Reply
  53. Pingback: RAINNNN « A Day To Day

  55. So maybe white girls aren’t the only ones. But they started the trend. And to.all who remain anjonymous talking shit, your obviously a HATER.. LMFAO..

    Like

    Reply

  57. it is funny that you make this list and now people are doing some of the things here as well… people who are angrey or argue and will not check back on this hahhahaa

    Like

    Reply

  58. This post was hilarious! Unfortunately, I am guilty of a couple of these as well, including the “gangsta” photo. Only what’s worse, I did the “gansta vulcan” sign! (Live long and prosper hand, turned upside-down.) So sad. Thanks for a great laugh, and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    Like

    Reply

  59. If I’m a white girl and share this hilarious blog making fun of what white girls do on facebook, on facebook, does that mean I’m vicariously guilty of all of the above?

    Like

    Reply

    1. so true. the day that FB released the character limits, EVERYONE starting posting stupid chain jokes that were HUGE run-on paragraphs (because most teens these days don’t practice proper, legible english) that took years to read and decipher.

      Like

      Reply

  63. Pretty sure it’s not white girls as much as it is dumb girls. I’m so sick of this stereotyping of white people, just because some people happen to be doing stupid shit.

    Like

    Reply

      4. I want some of that Quinoa. Why is this Bear Queer so jealous of white girls? Good thing I didnt write Black Bear Queer that would be an uproar on this board hehe…. Sorry you arent a white girl BBQ but pass the fucking quinoa already.

        Like

        Reply

    4. us whiteys totally deserve it after all the other racial jokes for the past century/more. come on guys stereotypes are around for a reason. we all know it doesnt mean ALL white girls. its saying most. and if we took a poll i bet like 80% of white girls on facebook are 75% of these things at least! lets not deny it guys… this truely is the epitome of white girls who spend every waking moment on facebook thinking their page is the center of the universe.

      Like

      Reply

    1. I’d Like to say, I’m proud to be a Nerd Girl! I hate shoes! so no feet pics… Hell My pics are of big things, Wedding!… and thats about it. And as for that list… I do say I love my Hubby, and since our computers are next to each other, Most of the time he is sitting there.

      But, Love the above post, And to all the Nerdy gamer females out there! Love you more for NOT doing that ****!

      Like

      Reply

    1. I find the feet photos very odd. I’ve not seen one in my friend collection yet.

      But what is with people’s judgment of feet on the internet? I’ve even seen severe judgment of glowing model feet. -_- I’d like to know what kind of feet you have…

      Like

      Reply
  71. Pingback: 15 Things White Girls Love to do on facebook - Southern Maryland Community Forums

  73. I dont know any white girls that do this, but I know alot of black girls who do. That goes to show I think a black girl wrote this lol.

    Like

    Reply

  76. Hey, I have no problem with #10! People who wear leggings as pants SHOULD be taken out and shot! (Not that I personally rant about it on fb, but I wish more people would.)

    Like

    Reply

    1. some people choose comfort over style… sorry bud but targeting leggings? comeee onn lol. as long as theres no camel toe get overrrrrrrr it

      Like

      Reply

    2. Taken out and shot? Whats wrong with fit attractive women wearing leggings? They look great.

      Unless you’re talking about the cows… Yes they should be shot. Just because something is MADE in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it.

      Like

      Reply

      1. This is quite possibly the dumbest thing I have ever read. If they get a parking ticket it will not be because of “negative energy” it will be because they parked somewhere they shouldn’t have. “Energy” doesn’t cause things to happen, you do. Learn to take responsibility for your actions.

        Like

        Reply
  82. Pingback: 15 Things That White Guys Love to Do On Facebook… « K'Brocking Entertainment

      1. As far as I can tell,almost every human being on facebook does or has done it…but that’s not the joke right now, “white” is the joke right now. That’s why the post is called “15 Things White Girls…”.

        Like

        Reply

  87. I was ready to come here all indignant because I was sure I don’t do anything on the list, but alas, I am guilty of #2. I guess I’ll just go comfort myself with a drink when I get home.

    Like

    Reply
  88. Pingback: 15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook « curvvd

  89. This list is erroneous… One of the Top 15 is definitely incorrectly posing like Charlie’s Angels… As a note, all three Charlie’s Angels were not packing pistols like the all the girls who do the pose… One of the three was in a kung fu stance and one was holding some sort of assault rifle.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to sarahpalma Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.