15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook

Published on by Mary Gelpi

1. Take pictures of their feet.

This is what our feet look like!

2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.

3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.

4. Complain about bad service at a fine dining establishments. “Never eating at Applebee’s AGAIN!”

5. Express their extreme excitement to see their best friends tonight, Britney, Whitney, and Sarah!!! LOVE YOU LADIES!!

6. Take pictures wearing a lot of makeup and looking really preppy while simultaneously making a “hard” facial expression and holding up what they consider to be a gangster sign. Potential caption: ‘Straight thuggin.’

We’re hard!!!

7. Take pictures of undeserving food.

I effing love oatmeal!!! Mmmmmmm.

8. Make their status the song lyrics of any Kings of Leon Song.

9. Take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really?

10. Write angry letters to companies (Dear EZ PARK, I hate you!), unorganized groups of people (Dear slutty freshmen who think that leggings can be worn as pants..), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!)

11. Subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.”

12. Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day. “Getting my oil changed today. Then getting much needed groceries. Then it’s off to the post office to return a package. Then stopping by the gyno. Will probably need some gas by the end, so I may stop at the gas station. But I might be tired so I’ll probably just get it in the morning on my way to pick up a prescription. But if I’m not very tired I’ll probably just get the gas on the way home. Again, unless I am tired.”

13. Express their distaste for facebook on facebook and threaten to leave facebook to their facebook friends.

14. Ask seemingly rhetorical questions. “It’s cool to do a bunch of meth and babysit 20 six year olds, right? Hehe.”

15. Write a status in another language. Parce que, Je suis tres intelligente!!

Love,

Mary. A white girl on facebook, guilty of most of these things.

**My friend Matt Damon (aka Kaitlin) collaborated on the trends of facebook with me. A much more detailed version will be in our book we’re writing. Which will be published….one day…

1,818 thoughts on “15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook”

    1. While I’m not a fan of taking pictures of my feet, I -do- take pictures of my lunch, but that’s only because I’m a budding chef and wish to show off my cooking talents.

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  7. This is funny, but I would never joke about #14. I know you’re joking, but if you’re arrested, the police will use this against you.

    The person that joked about the Duck Face is too funny. My co-worker and I were just talking about that.

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  12. Nail on the head! Think the title should read ‘AMERICAN girls’ though, not ‘white girls’ since none of my white European friends do any of these things.

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  13. WOW. Some of you commenters need to remove the sticks from your bums. This was made in good fun, and nobody should be offended. I’m half white and I do about half of these things :P Good job ladies.

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  15. Really makes you realize how the ability to constantly bombard the world with information about your daily life, whilst not sharing anything worthwhile, has gotten out of hand.

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  16. LOL
    This is not racist because you cannot be racist towards a privileged group of people (i.e. white people). You can be prejudiced, sure. But you cannot systematically oppress white people because they are politically more powerful.

    This IS, however, extremely SEXIST.

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    2. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

      Anyone can be racist. You do not have to be politically powerful to be racist. The only thing you need to be racist is a belief that inherent differences among races determine cultural or individual achievement and are indicative of the superiority of one particular race.

      For instance, the belief that you cannot be racist towards white people is, by definition, a racist belief.

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      2. No, just stop it… what you just said was a complete non-sequitor and a excessively bad attempt to boil down a complex topic… and nobody said the post was racist…

        Its easy to mock people of all different backgrounds including white girls, there’s a whole movie about it… in fact apparently white girls mock white girls… tired of hearing about that sucking fociologist jibber jabber way out of context…

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      3. you cannot be racist towards a privileged group of people– who says that?!?
        so thankful that i was not brought up to be so ignorant.
        as usual in these type of threads, the comments are more valuable than the initial post..
        the original post is kinda funny but pretty lame

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    3. hmmmm, i think you might want to familiarize yourself with the definition of “racism,” as whether or not a race is privileged is irrelevant

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    4. “This is not racist…”

      You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

      And neither do most dictionaries.

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    5. wow! i don’t know what year you think you’re living in, but we are all just people trying to make it in the world! I have seen black people , mexian people, asian people… all kinds of beauitful races out there be way more privileged than whites! And just f.y.i. you most definitely CAN be racist towards what YOU call a ‘privileged’ group of people, because racism is a state of mind! i think by calling one race privileged, is only victimizing another! let’s try and keep things equal for once, shall we?:)

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  18. I would also add:
    16. Posting pictures of themselves making the ‘duck face’, often while flashing alleged gang signs. Urban Dictionary has several definitions for ‘duck face’.
    17. Posting pictures of themselves, taken in a bathroom mirror.

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    1. I clicked on this expecting to see ‘duck face’ listed for sure but, no… ? Good save, JMS! And LOL @The mirror bit… made me think of a pic I just saw that was a combo of #16. & #17. Duckface & Gang Signs, taken in her Bathroom Mirror. Bless her heart…

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  21. I am proud to say that I don’t do many of these….my guess would be because I don’t have much of a social life! :)

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  23. Wow, so true. Blah blah filler blah blah relevant comment. Have you heard about corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines. Etc. Mention duckface again, thinking I’m funny for mentioning it when it’s been mentioned 500 times already. Studies show that six out of seven dwarves are not happy. And other things. Comment is nearly over now. And finally, pictures where someone’s arm fat makes some other girl look naked. I’m bored. Read me a story.

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  25. We’re are hard..ha..love it. Being that I was a breakdancer in the 80s dating preppy girls from the hills…total flash back. I’m currently taking a Facebook hiatus, to recoup, get wind under my sails, strengthened to refresh. To me fb is faithbook to enrich other’s faith in the love of Jesus! Jesus loves you…merry Christmas!

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  29. However i didnt see the “take a pic of all of us girls in the mirror of the bathroom”. I know that has to be up there somewhere….

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  30. This is pretty funny!! BUT…. I think it’s more about age and culture (american… like someone said earlier). I can honestly say that out of all of my friends on FB the only ones that do most of those things are my underage realatives. I am 30… and at this point if we are still acting that way I think we have bigger issues! Only one I am guilty of is #2.. cuz I am actually old enough to drink!

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  35. Yeah, this was so NOT about race. America is the only country that has this silly sensitivity on the face of the Earth. It is about a “type” of character and humor. America, forget “race” as divisive and be one people. Take a deep breath, count to “whatEVAAA” number and step back. Hold hands. Season’s Greetings!

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    1. its hard to forget when its in your face and supprted by thegovernment in the media. Did you know a couple of weeks ago a black man and white woman in Kentucky were forbidden to marry? Did you know about the politician that said black men by nature were more dangerous? How about 96 percent of television feature white actors when our country is only 70 percent white. That doesn’t seem like good grouds to start on. We need to start with what we see on TV first before any real changes could be made because that’s ultimately how people learn to discriminate and then comes family who learned from TV

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  38. Hahaha, I have seen this shared from people on my friend’s list on Facebook multiple times today (congrats on being freshly pressed, by the way!). But I completely agree with these. No matter what the age, I see multiple posts that you’ve listed DAILY. Granted there are some girls who are worse than others, but you still hit the nail on the head. I think the funniest thing is, as a guy, is reading through the list and realizing what I’ve done and what I’ve seen other guy friends of mine do, haha.

    http://moviemisinformer.wordpress.com/

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  43. This is absolutely hilarious! I have been guilty of at least 10 out of the 15…..especially the one where I say how wonderful my husband is while he is sitting net to me. In fact, he IS wonderful and he IS sitting next to me right now!! LOL Thank you for the grins. Now, I want to know what the trends are for non-white girls! :)

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  44. The foot one is the only one I didn’t get, but believe it just the same. Only you forgot all the “!” used and commenting “too funny” to everything!

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  49. i’m a white girl and i’ve never done any of these things. not one single thing.

    o.0

    i must actually be green or something..

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  52. ok, yeah well, i wasn’t gonna post to this either but reading sum of the other posts on here…i had to….i am a white girl and dont really do alot of these things listed but im not offended by it in any way shape form or fashion and think some of ya’ll just need to chill…it was a joke…..i mean…REALLY?

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  54. So sorry, but in my friend list, it’s more the guys who take pics of their feet in many new stylin sneakers, take pictures of their food, and try to look “gansta” in their preppy photos. I must know some sensitive males!

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  59. So I wasn’t going to comment, because ….well…you have over 1,000 comments!!! But any post that has me actually laughing out loud and re-reading it to anyone who will listen..deserves one more comment! Lucky you! ;) Congrats on getting Pressed. Well deserved !!

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  60. Oh my goodness. The post was cute. I’m black and took no offense whatsoever to the post. Those people who are being mean and taking this to a place a doesn’t need to go should get a grip. Wow.

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    3. I was thinking the same thing while I was reading! I know people of every gender, color, ethnicity, and background that do this stuff. Saying it’s “done by white girls” doesn’t make it funnier…it just makes people feel like maybe they themselves might be a white girl.

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      1. Girls of other races might not take this as a joke. It becomes a race issue as soon as you label the “girl.” BTW, I’m not a girl or white.

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    7. I completely agree. White people have had to suffer through zero years of oppression in this country so when someone makes a joke about them the only logical response is to get supper offended and pretend like it is a big deal.

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      1. …since when do white women not have to suffer through oppression? Not too mention, look at your history. You think the Irish or Jews had it easy coming into the states?
        And, in the author’s case, the context of her article is not set to offend. I am in a career where I fight for human equality and in this particular case…. lighten up.

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      2. Hey just so I can get this out of my system, every race, sex, and most religions have been oppressed in some way at some point. To have certain races or sexes feel they are owed something or have the right to complain if a comment or joke is made is the biggest example of racism I have ever seen. To feel that because your particular race, sex, or religion was oppressed and that entitles you to special treatment or reguard is wrong.

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    8. Haven’t you heard of the website “Stuff White People Like”? Seems like this is a play off that. It’s not being racist. Good God. Stop trying to find ways of getting offended by everything.

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  74. I cant flippin stand at the end of every post…Mommy loves you (insert kids names here). Really? they can’t read it!!!!!!!!!

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  77. LOVE. IT. I have been reading all around your blog since seeing this post linked on Facebook, and I have to say that I envy your simple eloquence. I can’t wait to see more posts!

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  78. A few things left out….
    1) Duck face aka Blue steele
    2) I’m not sure this applies to only white girls but what about mommy posts? Oh my god Junior just shit on the floor and wiped it on the walls
    3) Count downs? Only three more days unitl … Who the Fu+*k cares?
    4) Wat I think is intentional missspelling… Only 2 more dais guuurrrlllll!

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    1. Now, see I think the racism argument is kind of ridiculous but a sexist argument actually is offensive when you say “because they’re women” as if being a woman somehow causes annoying behaviors. Only certain women do this.

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    1. Um I’m pretty sure this was’nt made old ass women like you..If you are such a mature adult then why the hell r u on here reading this and leaving comments in the first place..!!??

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      1. lOl. What i ment to say was… Im pretty sure that this blog i just read was not made for old ass women like you, This was obviously made for the younger crowed. And Like i said, If you are a mature adult.. Why r u reading this.. And leaving comments..

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  84. Ah come on, there are some Asians gals and others that are dippy fun-headed.

    As for the Facebook references: I’m not really part of all that river of chatter. I don’t subscribe to FB. (But have 3 blogs, which is enough clutter for blogosphere.)

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  85. That was very witty, thanks for the excursion. Seems like I haven’t lost much staying away from FB, otherwise I’d probably turn into a troll who would troll all FB contacts.

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  86. You guys need to chill. Why are you getting so bent out of shape about this?? It’s hilarious and 99% accurate when i look through all of the girls’ posts on my wall.

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  87. Really don’t see why it was necessary to add the word “white,” not to be political. I’m sure tons of people post things like these listed whether they are white, black, male, female, young, old. Funny list though, for the most part.

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    2. I agree….. while the list was funny adding “white” to it was ignorant. And the only argument back to this I see is that only white girls do it…. well THAT IS NOT TRUE. I have many races on my friends list…. we all do it. It is something we all do from time to time. Who cares what color we are?!?!?! SMH… children these days hahaha.

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