15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook

Published on by Mary Gelpi

1. Take pictures of their feet.

This is what our feet look like!

2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.

3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.

4. Complain about bad service at a fine dining establishments. “Never eating at Applebee’s AGAIN!”

5. Express their extreme excitement to see their best friends tonight, Britney, Whitney, and Sarah!!! LOVE YOU LADIES!!

6. Take pictures wearing a lot of makeup and looking really preppy while simultaneously making a “hard” facial expression and holding up what they consider to be a gangster sign. Potential caption: ‘Straight thuggin.’

We’re hard!!!

7. Take pictures of undeserving food.

I effing love oatmeal!!! Mmmmmmm.

8. Make their status the song lyrics of any Kings of Leon Song.

9. Take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really?

10. Write angry letters to companies (Dear EZ PARK, I hate you!), unorganized groups of people (Dear slutty freshmen who think that leggings can be worn as pants..), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!)

11. Subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.”

12. Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day. “Getting my oil changed today. Then getting much needed groceries. Then it’s off to the post office to return a package. Then stopping by the gyno. Will probably need some gas by the end, so I may stop at the gas station. But I might be tired so I’ll probably just get it in the morning on my way to pick up a prescription. But if I’m not very tired I’ll probably just get the gas on the way home. Again, unless I am tired.”

13. Express their distaste for facebook on facebook and threaten to leave facebook to their facebook friends.

14. Ask seemingly rhetorical questions. “It’s cool to do a bunch of meth and babysit 20 six year olds, right? Hehe.”

15. Write a status in another language. Parce que, Je suis tres intelligente!!

Love,

Mary. A white girl on facebook, guilty of most of these things.

**My friend Matt Damon (aka Kaitlin) collaborated on the trends of facebook with me. A much more detailed version will be in our book we’re writing. Which will be published….one day…

1,818 thoughts on “15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook”

  2. I think this is hilarious, but i DON”T think some of these comments are! Im a white girl and this does NOT explain me or anything I do on FB at all!This is supposed to be as a joke so leave it that way!!!!!

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  3. The about writing letters to objects and unorganized groups is one of the most common status updates that irritate me the most. Dear Facebook people who write letters to others through facebook, stop it. Thanks.

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      2. i agree. u have got to be black. only people i know who automatically throw the race card when no one around them is even thinking about racism.

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      4. Pardon you all, but I know this wonderful LADY and she is indeed white. It’s pretty ridiculous that you would all assume that just because she is bringing up racism that she MUST BE BLACK. Racism goes all ways people! White people aren’t the only people who are racist. This article is indeed being racist in my opinion too. These aren’t only specific to white people, everyone does them, I have witnessed it.

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    2. dont act like you dont make some of those posts on facebook… just because you’re black! i BET you do the whole stupid gangster sign. what what! … dumb@ss

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  8. This post is hysterical! Love (well actually can’t stand) #3. Why are people writing love letters to their spouses on FB?! And why do white girls write toasts to their non-reading toddlers on their birthdays? Time could probably be better spent with said toddler rather than on FB.
    Love this post!

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    2. It’s not just white girls who write toasts to their children, seems like more non-white women do that since they tend to have kids just as often, if not more than white women.

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  10. 16. Spend a lot spare time putting up Hey Guys! YouTube videos when they should be out looking for a job or cleaning their room.

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    1. I agree…they’re everywhere. Some people I think just go for that tho….it’s too bad!

      I’m a white girl and I enjoyed reading this because I wanted to see how true these were…and for the most part…it IS mostly true! I post what my husband is making for supper, I love my husband up when he’s sitting next to me….lets see what else? I also take pics of my feet…however I’m a nail tech and it’s part of my job :)

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  14. These were cute, but we need one added about the rediculus kiss face pictures. Those drive me nuts! Why would someone want tom look like a duck?

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  18. Pingback: 15 Things Girls Love To Do On Facebook « Frankie Hollywood and The Morning BOUNCE

  20. i think saying “white girls” instead of just “girls” was brilliant, because it makes it funnier, grabs more people’s attention, and us non-white girls laugh a lil harder when we’re guilty of some of the same things, understanding the transcendence without feeling the need to fight a war for equality to drop “white” at the beginning. there’s a time to call out racism and a time to get that it’s a joke and just laugh and move on.

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    1. why would you even mention racism? i love how everyone pulls racism out of the air nowadays. white people used to own black people and treated them like crap. then they said sorry and let the blacks go and try to build something out of themselves. get over it already. racism wouldn’t still be around if it wasn’t for everyone playing the race card and affirmative action groups who actually make things worse.

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  22. Pingback: 15 Things White Girls Love to Do on Facebook | iPhone – Mania

  24. This is specifically younger girls on my friends’ list. Usually 17-23 who do these especially; lyrics, making specific torching remarks about someone without mentioning a name, stupid rhetorical Q’s. I’m glad to say mid-20’s and older post relevant, original thoughts usually.

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  26. You need to replace “White Girls” with just “Girls” because, seriously, I’ve seen a lot of stuff like this on my NewsFeed and those girls weren’t even white!

    And I don’t think I can ever understand those “this-is-what-our-feet-look-like” photos. I mean, Why!

    P.S. Great Post! A truly deserved FreshlyPressed!

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  31. Fortunately I’m holding up the cool flag for white girls by not doing any of these things….ok ok…. I did once take a picture of me throwing up westside in a red bandana with thug life written on my stomach in eyeliner…..

    Someone else put it on facebook though! :( lol

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  43. wow.. amazingly true..I’d add this one too : Taking pictures with some random cute kid and going all awwww.. oooohhh.. over it. In the case of boys , I see increasing number of “Girls are dumb” and “They break your heart ” statuses which I don’t like much…. Atleast in my friend lists :) :) super post!

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  44. Hilarious. Great post! Even though I’m not a white girl I’m guilty of 90% of these facebook offenses! People are taking this way too seriously, it’s obviously meant for fun! :)

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      1. WHERE IS THE RACISM!?!?!?! are you so dumb you can’t even do menial tasks? you sound pretty retarded to me. YOU aleha are a dumb broad.

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  54. I kept seeing photos of feet on female friends posts and thought it odd. Like a bunch of group shots, toes in. OK ? ? I thought. Now I get it. Good fun thanks.

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  55. Fibromyalgia = first world ‘disease’ … ever heard of someone from Mexico getting it? No, because it’s something bored housewives/students get when they have no other problems in their lives. Kinda like how the suicide rate is highest in the richest countries. I ‘m sure you have a lot of pain and I’m sorry for that. But it’s all in your mind. Go down to Honduras and work on a farm for a living. Suddenly you will have a real disease like malaria.
    Oh and BTW these ‘things that white people do’ lists are asinine and ignorant. At least say ‘things middle class americans with nothing else to do with their lived do’. The list works for Asians, Latinas, even Blacks (OMG)… as long as they are middle class, shop at Nordstroms, ect.

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    2. I have an aunt who has fibromyalgia and just so you know it IS a real disease. You obviously wouldn’t know because you are ignorant. Ignorant people think they know everything about something when they know the least. If you don’t agree, don’t read it. But you don’t need to put someone down because you don’t agree just so you can feel inferior. If you don’t know, don’t speak because it just makes you look stupid.

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    3. Funny, she can’t go work in a farm in Honduras because she has a disease that tires her out just being alive!
      Also, the suicide rate is highest in Lithuania, Kazakhstan, Belarus, Guyana, Ukraine, Sri Lanka…. not very “rich” countries at all.
      Finally, not sure what “being middle class” and “shopping at Nordstrom’s” has to do with a funny list about facebook trends. All I got from your post is that you know fairly little about class distinctions, statistics, or countries outside of continental North America.

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    4. I think I have Fibromyalgia; it blows. I could be having a great time then all of a sudden a nerve wants to act all out of whack and brings me down for a second or two. Sometimes I can’t sleep. Although I find that it is all in my head, I can’t get it to stop.
      There are more horrible “diseases” out there, deffinately, but imagine going through life knowing you are going to have a sharp pain at any second, but be completely unaware of when it is going to happen. It’s like being pinched hella hard, in different places, and it causing pain shoot to other sides of your body all of the time.
      Just sayin. :)

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    5. Sounds like you need to judge less and read more. Some of the hardest working people I know have this disease. Try being a mom of 5 kids and keeping up with them all while in terrible pain. Or being a high school principal while going to school full time to get your doctorate AND living with this incurable disease. In fact, these people are often MORE determined so that they can overcome the hard things they experience. It isn’t right to judge when clearly you have no clue.

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    6. I completely agree that it’s stupid to have a list of “things white girls do”, because you’re right, it really should be “things that middle class Americans…do”. Actually, it should probably be “things that middle class people in 1st world countries do”, since I’m sure you can find similar behavior in any 1st world country.

      However, in regards to your rant about disease (which, by the way, was completely unprovoked and unrelated to the post), I must say that the your perception of fibromyalgia is vastly off base. Yes, the cause of fibromyalgia is still unclear, but as some one with a somewhat comparable disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis, I assure you that my pain is NOT in my head (well, actually, it *is* when my immune system decides my jaw is the enemy and makes it hurt so it’s painful and difficult to open my mouth even to talk, but you know what I mean).

      I have no doubt that there are people out there who fake their pain, but you seem to believe that we *all* do. Is there really that much of a difference between saying that all people in pain are making it up and/or “it’s in their heads”, and the stereotypes that all white girls do the stuff listed in the post? I find it quite hypocritical that in the same post you seek to debunk one stereotype while you support and promote another.

      It must be easy to say things like, “It’s all in your mind” if you’ve never experienced such pain yourself. But even if the pain “were” “in your mind”, psychosomatic conditions are a confirmed phenomenon. Just because there isn’t a visible physical manifestation of their condition, that doesn’t mean they’re making it up.

      Just because you can’t explain the pain doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

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    7. Fibromyalgia a made up thing huh? That’s fine, tell that to my mother who has it as an offshoot of her lupus. Glad to hear my moms pain of nearly 40 years is because she has “no other problems.” Boy, you just brightened my day.

      #sarcasm

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  56. Lol…funny but not only white girls do that….it’s just females in general…and some guys too….atleast 40% of the girls I’m friends with on Facebook do this…I don’t even bother reading their post anymore……….

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  64. While I am not guilty of the majority of these offenses, I’m afraid I may have “started” the foot pic trend with my prolonged profile pic in 2005 (FB’s second year in existence)- I painted my toenails with the NY METS logo! I apologize for the future annoyance.

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  67. While I am not guilty of the majority of these offenses, I’m afraid I may have started the foot pic trend with my prolonged profile pic in 2005 (FB’s second year in existence)- my toenails painted with the NY METS logo! I apologize for the future annoyance.

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  70. Oh my gosh! My brother shared this on facebook…I am so guilty of most of these things. I’m almost 22 and not in college anymore so I am out growing some of them. Still I am guilty of the -changes profile picture every other day- They should add *posts slutty pictures with flirty captions that say things like- I’m single and not looking WINK WINK WINK! or I wear my heart on my sleeve and fall really easy but if you ever hurt me I’ll kick your ass! WINK WINK…

    This should definitely not say white girls, it should be changed to American girls-I have several friends of all different races and ages who do a lot of these things.

    I am most guilty of flooding peoples posts with photo updates. I realyy into photography and it’s a passion of mine. I try to cut back but I just can’t…deal with it. Unsubscribe from my posts if you don’t wanna see it. Not gonna bother me.

    Very funny how true this is, gotta say there should be one for guys. They take mirror pics, topless pics showin off their body, party pics, the bar pics with the guys and random hot girls in the background, oh and the usual annoyed face with the middle finger sayin F**k off!

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  72. I’m not a Facebook user myself, but my mom is one and of course everyone else I know. I even saw on some interview forms that part of what you have to write down is your Facebook page link. I’ve also heard from my mom that people put down quotes for their status all the time too.

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  76. Well dang…when did I turn white? LOL

    Although an exception can be made for Southern white girls, particularly those from New Orleans, regarding the food pics. We have WAY too much good (and good-looking) cuisine down here to photography ugly dishes.

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  77. Nope to all of these. I am I single white girl, 25 years old, living in good old Minnesota. This is why I don’t have many female friends.

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  78. In the comments, several added the sorely missing “duck-face” pics, but forgot…
    *the incessant self-promoter – Oy!!! Just Oy!
    *the deluded mom – actually thinks that her kid is cute, with the incessant posting of pics of the less-than-attractive &/or inappropriately dressed/posed kid. And all you can do is keep silent about the pics, because Mom said if you have nothing nice to say…
    *the stage mom – often the same person as the deluded mom, adding the bonus annoyance of never-ending invitations to see the untalented spawn in this or that production. Gag!!! All you can do is keep claiming “previous commitments” because she could never understand your NOT WANTING to support her little shining star & it is impolite to tell her you find watching other people’s children in unprofessional productions absolutely excruciating!
    *the whiny infatuated girl who’s desperate “I love him SOOOOO much” posts are absolute harbingers of doom to the relationship!! YOU want to squirm away from her – so you can only imagine how fast he’s gonna bolt!!!

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  81. hahahah! this is so true! I’ve been guilty of many of these. But I’ve seen plenty of guys’ statuses and pictures that were similar as well to be fair.

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  83. LOLOLOLOLOL.
    I don’t think I’ve done most of these things, but I’ve seen so many of my friends do these.
    What about “Updating their FB profile picture at least once a week.” I mean, what crazy girl in her right mind does NOT do that? :-) (I’d qualify as said crazy gal)
    You definitely need to add duck faces to that list.

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  84. Pingback: 15 Things White Girls Love To Do on Facebook | Mix 93.1

  85. Some more:
    Stating why you are proud of your pain-in-the-butt attitude and say that everyone else are just jealous because you “speak your mind.”

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      1. praise the lord
        talk about haters
        talk about niggas hollerin at them
        talk about men
        post pic of themselves in their freak um dresses in the club
        pictures of kissy face with them and their best friend
        bathroom mirror pictures

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  88. I just felt a surge of embarassment when I imagined what would be on the 15 Things White Dudes Do On Facebook…

    #?. ‘Taking a pic of yourself where you’re looking somewhere else besides at the camera while pretending not to acknowledge the existence of said camera or the fact that it is, in fact, taking your picture.

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  89. This more describes the “wrong” type of white girl. Cool progressive white girls from San Fran and Portland don’t do any of this crap.

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    2. dude i live in portland and you are severely mistaken if you truly believe that.portland has probly got THE most self-indulgent pretentious girls of anywhere ive ever been.clearly you do not live here.

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    3. “cool progressive white girls”

      hahahha that one made laugh to hard.almost as much as following that with “they don’t do any of this crap”.

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    4. sorry to say, but i have plenty of friends in san fran who are very quilty of this funny crap… we’re alllllll human and we allllll do stupid stuff like this, no matter where we are from,lol!

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