1. Take pictures of their feet.
2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.
3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.
4. Complain about bad service at a fine dining establishments. “Never eating at Applebee’s AGAIN!”
5. Express their extreme excitement to see their best friends tonight, Britney, Whitney, and Sarah!!! LOVE YOU LADIES!!
6. Take pictures wearing a lot of makeup and looking really preppy while simultaneously making a “hard” facial expression and holding up what they consider to be a gangster sign. Potential caption: ‘Straight thuggin.’
7. Take pictures of undeserving food.
8. Make their status the song lyrics of any Kings of Leon Song.
9. Take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really?
10. Write angry letters to companies (Dear EZ PARK, I hate you!), unorganized groups of people (Dear slutty freshmen who think that leggings can be worn as pants..), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!)
11. Subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.”
12. Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day. “Getting my oil changed today. Then getting much needed groceries. Then it’s off to the post office to return a package. Then stopping by the gyno. Will probably need some gas by the end, so I may stop at the gas station. But I might be tired so I’ll probably just get it in the morning on my way to pick up a prescription. But if I’m not very tired I’ll probably just get the gas on the way home. Again, unless I am tired.”
13. Express their distaste for facebook on facebook and threaten to leave facebook to their facebook friends.
14. Ask seemingly rhetorical questions. “It’s cool to do a bunch of meth and babysit 20 six year olds, right? Hehe.”
15. Write a status in another language. Parce que, Je suis tres intelligente!!
Love,
Mary. A white girl on facebook, guilty of most of these things.
**My friend Matt Damon (aka Kaitlin) collaborated on the trends of facebook with me. A much more detailed version will be in our book we’re writing. Which will be published….one day…
FibroM.E.-Awesome 
This is just too perfect.
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BRILLIANT! And oh so true.
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So true….reading your article is great!
My girlfriends and I love to do some of it like taking pictures of our feet…
then upload it on FB then tagging it others friends… :)
————————-
Click here!
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I would add posting status updates that end in emoticons.
Examples: Just had coffee with Julie :)
My dog has a rash that won’t go away :(
Had a great date with someone last night ;)))
We get it. You understand how facial expressions work, ladies.
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i do that all of the time! (guilty of most things here) the best is when they make the emoticon and it doesnt look like one “:S”
(ps if you like lists like these check out my latest one: http://spotthestereotype.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/7-da-club/ )
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You know what they say, Facebook makes you hate the people you know and Twitter makes you love the people you don’t
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hahahahhaa that’s so true hahaha
so funny LOL!!!!!!!
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All pretty much on spot. I wonder what we could say about men’s posts.
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Christ, It’s about time someone said it!
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Some peoples kids!!
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LOL. Yes, I’ve noticed this myself.
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My name is Lauren. I am a white girl. I am guilty of almost every single one of the above.
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Am sorry girl; am so concern about your feelings;
May be you need a refreshments.
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Lol this is so true i have been noticing it but thought nothing of it. but when you you put it in a order you realize how goofy people act on facebook. especially girls
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2,6,12,14. I’ve officially been compartmentalized! (But I kind of like it) Good post!
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Thank you for raising awareness about #10. All internet people, of every gender, race, and age, do this. And though we all see this over 10,000 times each day, most people present it as a hilarious way of communicating that they themselves made up. Here’s hoping popularity of this post will help them see the light!
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Stupid bitches.
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Come on people. What’s up with this rude language and being mean to each other. Don’t you have something better to do?
How degenerating!
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rastaphoto you have done nothing but spread racial hate on this blog. the last thing you need to do is tell someone what they can and cannot write.
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This isn’t just white girls…this applies to nearly EVERYONE on facebook. Thanks for the laughs.
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lol. i also know a few non-white girls who do the same things. maybe they are white on the inside.
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test
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Anddddd tyyyypppeee liiiiiike thisssssssss.
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All women are stupid, not just the white ones.
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What a sad and degenerating comment. Think it says more about the one who wrote than about women.
Show them all some respect regardless if what you think they do is stupid!
What’s up wit this negativity?
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Um, little confused. You wrote this slammin’ post about FB, but you just today opened a FB page? Where’s your other FB page? Come on, don’t be shy . . .
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almost fall out of my chair at work …..so guilty of these things i am going to reconsider what i post from now on
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Do you mean girls with jobs and kids to take care of, or girls without jobs or kids? Seems like two different worlds, one where there’s not enough time in the day, and the other where there’s way too much.
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I have just one question: Mary, where the heck are you? You haven’t posted one response. Come on, girl. Can’t leave us hanging. What’s your response to everyone’s comments?
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I read this on a friend’s page and almost died! This is all true. So true, in fact, that my profile picture is of feet at the moment of this writing. And that wasn’t even planned. I just really really like shoes. This is a great list!! “smily face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
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Hilarious!!
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I hope that your book will do profiles on all of the FB personality types. I am a white girl but I don’t do any of the listed annoyances above. I’m really intrested in knowing what type of FB personality I would fall under.
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this is actually not that funny. in fact, i see people of all races, and genders, doing this shit.
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my thoughts exactly and if some one made a list of things black girls post on FB everybody would call them a racist and be pisssed but since it’s white girls it’s cool right? fucking stupid ppl I swear ps I’m white and don’t do any of this shit … I always said it’s funny how we have black history month but heaven forbid we have a fucking white people month!!! This list and the majority of the comments on it are fucking dumb.
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Wow your bitter relax, don’t take life so seriously, you may have a heart attack. Oh and by the way every month is white people month. Let black people enjoy the 28 days to celebrate, and every 4 years we are lucky enough to get 29.
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“I always said it’s funny how we have black history month but heaven forbid we have a fucking white people month!!!”
Let’s see Black History, Latin American History month. Yeah, you have the other 10 months, moron.
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I thought it was funny! My black friends take pics of soulfood dinners! I am black girl so I do the same! lol It’s all fun. Lighten up! :-)
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I love this!!! LMAO too funny!!
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haha, so funny – and sooo true! Hilarious
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Hilarious! I see that you went to LSU… we are huge fans! Geaux Tigers!
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Oh my word, I almost fell out of my chair laughing so har just now! And yes, duck lips and excessive use of acronyms are two others that could be added.
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Only half white, but completely guilty of all of these! Lol great post!
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One thing y’all missed was :
Omg! Dyc the “BG” Getn psyc @ MCD!! What a hoot!
Translation: Oh my gosh, did you see that Black Girl you tube video where she goes psycho at McDonalds??!!!
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Yup. The ducklips, duckface pose with the slightly closed eyes is also and interesting display of bizarreness. Great post!
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Counting down the days until your boyfriend returns!!!!! And the use of too many exclamation points.
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So true!!!
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What about ducklips
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Yep, duckface got left out. I’ve already had to chide my teen-aged niece about it.
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Mighty funny. White chicks on facebook come across as friggin’ retards.
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Wow, you have lots of feedback on this post. I loved it, very funny. Congrats on being freshly pressed. :) Great job.
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WOW! that is funny! Thanks for this! don’t forget the smiley faces :) ;) :o) or sad faces :( :o(
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Great post. Seriously that was hilarious. Cheers.
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Wow–the article was funny and amusing, but I’ve been reading through the comments and can hardly believe the things people write to and about people they don’t know. This is why I tell my students that they may never, ever write anonymously in my classes. The Internet provides us with a screen that allows us to say horrible things that we would never say in person (see comments under any Youtube video, for example). Using anonymity as a cover for unrestrained cruelty is a form of cowardice.
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Saying mean things is not nice at all. If one has critique that should be written in a polite form. And I agree about it being cowards using Anonymous for comments.
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This is pretty funny! A lot of guys do some of these too though lol
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Haha thats hilarious
-Haleigh <3 :)
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hi im alex i like you i wann talk to you
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Charlie’s Angels pose!
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As a white girl, I am verifying that all this post is true and accurate.
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Hahhaha, i was laughing so hard. I’m from sweden but it seems as if these things are universal facebook rules. Great post!
/Paulina
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Wonderfully observant! I think this post contains every nuance of Facebook! Very well done! You write the book, I’ll read it…one day!
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This is great. I have noticed almost all of those things, and am guilty of some (about 9). But to have it put in writing, with images made me smile. I also read a lot of your other stuff. I have a friend struggling with Fibromyalgia and POTS. Keep strong. You have a talent. Keep it up :)
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dont forget about all the kissy faces us girls LOOOVE to leave;)
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Holy crap, what is it with the feet? Dead on right.
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Hilarious! I htought I was the ONLY one who did this.
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So funny because it is so true!
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LMAO. This makes me want to take down some facebook posts…as I fit this wonderful little mold! HAHA. Made me laugh! Love it!
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LMAO. This makes me want to take down some facebook posts…as I fit this wonderful little mold! HAHA. Made me laugh! Love it!
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This is great. I had funnily started a blogpost about white guys and facebook but hadn’t posted it yet. Today seemed like a great opportunity.
I called it “Top 15 things white guys like to do on Facebook”.
Check it out it’s brolicious: http://mytravelboots.blogspot.com/2011/12/top-15-things-white-guys-like-to-do-on.htm
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haha awesome post! So so true
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That was awesome! I loved it, I’m sure you’re book will do very well. Thank you for makeing me laph, and pointing out a few silly things I do. lol keep it up!
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Funny. I’m not a white girl but I am guilty of a few of these. ;)
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Great post! As a white girl on Facebook (even in my mid-twenties), I’m definitely guilty of a handful of your points.
Awesome job ladies! I’ll keep a look out for that book ;)
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hi prety how are you i like you i meet to you
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Ha! I love this… Oatmeal is totally undeserving food–but it’s equally annoying when girls take pictures of elaborate meals they’ve cooked up. A. It makes me feel bad about the Red Baron frozen pizza I’m eating, and B. You need to get a life.
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It’s all true. Must be a global thing too. Why is it only girls though? You never see guys trying to pull that kind of shit.
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http://chopsyscumbag.wordpress.com/
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LOL! great post. I sure am guilty of #13 hahaha… it’s a love hate relationship w/ me and Facebook.
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Dont like it
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That was awesome. I will read your book :)
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Number 6
The picture’s caption made my day lol..
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The title should be 15 things White Girls and white-washed Asian girls Love to Do on Facebook.” I’ve dated enough of them to know.
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LOL funny sutfff.
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Funny stuff. I especially like the oatmeal pic :)
-Courtney, courtneyholden.wordpress.com
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lol – just great :-)
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Cheers to that! The worst thing you can do on FB is say “leaving for my vacation in Mexico, Yay!” …and come home to find you have been robbed.
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Soo true and soo funny!!
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This made me laugh and is very accurate!
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Thank you, thank you… Not only have you now given me a list of things I can make sure I never do, but you have at the same time given me a list which I can use to hopefully bring a couple of my friends to their senses! As I’m reading this I’m thinkin’, “Uh-huh… Yeah, so-and-so does that.. Oh wow, that is just like M…Ha, I have to show this to R… This is great…” Thank you for this valuable tool, to discourage any other ridiculous lame facebook status updates. Glad to know I am not the only one who thinks the above mentioned updates are just plain silly. I suggest you check out a you tube video called “You’re so Vain you Probably Think Facebook is About You.” by Ophelia-something-or-other.
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I love this! Too true. I do a lot of work on FB and know all of this to just be the culture of it.
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This made me giggle. Very accurate list. I see this mostly among the younger people these days!
http://www.ceejaytoday.com
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Don’t agree with most of the things on the list…. but some of them are funny.
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thats because you do most of them WACKJOB!
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This is so true!!! One thing left out is self portraits of themselves in their car or bathroom mirror!!!!! LMBO!!!
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Don’t forget the famous hand on the hip pics with the duck lips. It drives me nuts!
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Thank God…I’m not alone in my hatred of the ridiculous “Tea Pot Pose” and Olsen twins lips. High five, FBAddicted.
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This is why I quit facebook.
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lol this is a good one
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This is amazing! I’m going to post about this post! You rock! <3
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Quite funny and sadly true. You forgot one though….Posting what they are fixing for dinner. Really? Do you really think anyone is interested in what you are fixing for dinner? Like most of us don’t have more pressing issues to deal with each day than posting what we are fixing for dinner. :)
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Actually, there can be a reason to post what they’re fixing for dinner. Most likely, their children would never know what’s being fixed for dinner or even come to dinner if it wasn’t posted. Either that, or they expect people to be impressed that they can actually cook, which is becoming an increasingly rare talent.
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Was Dinner ‘broken’ is this the south in the 1970’s?
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