1. Take pictures of their feet.
2. Express their extreme annoyance at this work day and hint that it deserves a much needed alcoholic beverage at the end of it. WINK WINK.
3. Thank their hubby for being the best hubby in the world while their hubby is sitting right next to them.
4. Complain about bad service at a fine dining establishments. “Never eating at Applebee’s AGAIN!”
5. Express their extreme excitement to see their best friends tonight, Britney, Whitney, and Sarah!!! LOVE YOU LADIES!!
6. Take pictures wearing a lot of makeup and looking really preppy while simultaneously making a “hard” facial expression and holding up what they consider to be a gangster sign. Potential caption: ‘Straight thuggin.’
7. Take pictures of undeserving food.
8. Make their status the song lyrics of any Kings of Leon Song.
9. Take a picture of someone they deem inferior to themselves in some way with the question: Really?
10. Write angry letters to companies (Dear EZ PARK, I hate you!), unorganized groups of people (Dear slutty freshmen who think that leggings can be worn as pants..), and non-entities (Dear unseasonably cold weather, WTF?!)
11. Subtly yell at no one in particular while being very specific. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that you think you know someone and then they turn around and STAB YOU IN THE BACK. Will never make that mistake again. EVER.”
12. Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day. “Getting my oil changed today. Then getting much needed groceries. Then it’s off to the post office to return a package. Then stopping by the gyno. Will probably need some gas by the end, so I may stop at the gas station. But I might be tired so I’ll probably just get it in the morning on my way to pick up a prescription. But if I’m not very tired I’ll probably just get the gas on the way home. Again, unless I am tired.”
13. Express their distaste for facebook on facebook and threaten to leave facebook to their facebook friends.
14. Ask seemingly rhetorical questions. “It’s cool to do a bunch of meth and babysit 20 six year olds, right? Hehe.”
15. Write a status in another language. Parce que, Je suis tres intelligente!!
Love,
Mary. A white girl on facebook, guilty of most of these things.
**My friend Matt Damon (aka Kaitlin) collaborated on the trends of facebook with me. A much more detailed version will be in our book we’re writing. Which will be published….one day…
FibroM.E.-Awesome 
Oh snap! Looks like da white girls will have something else to post about!
LikeLike
I think saying Oh Snap should be on the list.
LikeLike
Sometimes the truth is the funniest thing. This happens to be one of those times! Great list and thanks for sharing!!!!
LikeLike
hahahahah. This applies to most women i think :)
LikeLike
Lol!! this is so funny and could be applied to Twitter too!
LikeLike
I think these are hilarious…although I am not on Facebook that much to be really committing any of these, but know a lot of my friends do! So true…so funny
LikeLike
I’m so very ashamed.
LikeLike
Hahaha you don’t realize how true these things are until you read them all together nice and succinct in a blog post. I’m probably going to try to avoid doing some of them now that I realize how stupid they look…maybe…I mean I’ll try…but then what would i do on facebook?! lol
LikeLike
hahahahah this is great and so accurate. facebook is ridiculous (but i’m also guilty of a few of these things…who doesn’t want to see a picture of my feet compared to my friends’ feet??! right?!!)
LikeLike
luv to see girls showing their feet.
LikeLike
This is very funny. I’ve got a list of Facebook Pet Peeves that is in a similar vein:
http://feitcanwrite.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/facebook-pet-peeves/
LikeLike
Wonderful Article. Please have a look at my blog too, I posted the 10 most annoying kinds of people on Facebook. I hope you like it and give me some feedback. I would really appreciate it. :)
LikeLike
My husband has f-book (not me!) We were watching the Wimbledon tennis semi-final, with Scots player Andy Murray (who didn’t get through) and my husband went on f-book just after the match finished. There was a stream of comments from some of his Scottish friends, BIG Andy Murray fans, that had been posted during play, saying: “He looks tired”, “Oh, God, I can hardly bear to watch!” Yeah, me too!”, etc etc. I wanted to write “but you aren’t. You’re dong this. ” but of course I didn’t because as I say, I don’t have an account.
LikeLike
Love it! Hilarious and so true!
LikeLike
My husband has f-book (not me!) We were watching the Wimbledon tennis semi-final, with Scots player Andy Murray (who didn’t get through) and my husband went on f-book just after the match finished. There was a stream of comments from some of his Scottish friends, BIG Andy Murray fans, that had been posted during play, saying: “Oh, God, I can hardly bear to watch!” Yeah, me too!” I wanted to write “but you aren’t. You’re dong this. ” but of course I didn’t because as I say, I don’t have an account..
LikeLike
15 is true…BUT I actually speak another language and most of my friends are actually able to read my update!
LikeLike
This was both true and funny. When’s the book coming out?
LikeLike
lol! I never really understood #1
LikeLike
This is great and so true! I just wrote a blog today in which i referred to FB as ComplainBook as that’s all anyone does anymore with it.
LikeLike
…posting a ‘just got lucky’ picture of themselves…in other words, they just got lucky and took an amazing photo with great light that makes them look like a supermodel. In real life they look nothing like that, but are perfectly comfortable portraying themselves as hotter than they really are.
…posting a photo series designed to make it appear as though no one has ever had a cooler life with better, more attractive friends and more amazing activities/parties. Generally the photo series is from one night and – much like my kids’ photo albums – depicts the top 1% of events in their lives. The 99% (hairy legs, boring nights home alone, bad hair days) never make it on the facebook profile!
LikeLike
panties in a bunch try a thong you may find a sense of humor!!!
LikeLike
nyc….
LikeLike
This is some funny schitt! Screw the haters who are calling this “racist”. Is Jeff Foxworthy racist? Were Richard Pryor and Redd Fox racist? Is Dave Chappelle racist? Is Mel Brooks anti-Jewish? This post is not mean-spirited, it’s just good-natured ethnic humor. Nothing wrong with laughing at yourself.
LikeLike
ah am a white girl and not guilty of any of the above.. however, I will say SO TRUE because my feed is constantly flooded with many of the above examples from my white girl friends.
Except the drug reference. That’s just creepy. (Glad I don’t chillax with druggies I guess?)
LikeLike
Not guilty? You just pulled a #14 in your comment
LikeLike
Perhaps i spoke too soon and I didn’t understand #14. Call me guilty as charged. :-P
LikeLike
don’t forget baaad self-portraits taken in front of a mirror. or any other seemingly reflective surface
LikeLike
with the arm raised!
http://spotthestereotype.wordpress.com
LikeLike
That seems to be a trend that has no gender restrictions anymore. A large number of guys are doing the same :P
LikeLike
Haha, and usually lifting their tanks to reveal their “sweet 6-packs”!
LikeLike
Yeah, how many foot tats and pedicures have I had to look at? Too many to mention.
Funny post!
LikeLike
Call me what you want (and you will), but I found this post offensive. Generalizing “white girls” as simple- minded drug addicted idiots is no different from doing the same with girls of ANY race– regardless of whether or not you are one. Women tend to buy into the inherent sexism of Euro- American culture than many men do so they think it’s “funny” without really thinking. That you categorized this post under “wisdom” is mind- boggling. Thanks for yet another nail in the coffin of women being taken seriously in this society. I have two teenage daughters and one grown daughter who don’t fit into your silly categories at all, nor do their friends. I’d appreciate it if women in the media would start focusing on more intelligent fare, as it might make the future just a LITTLE brighter for our daughters.
LikeLike
white people are fair game
LikeLike
Oh god, this isn’t a civil rights debate, its satire. But then again, maybe your post is satirical. I hope so, because no one should take you seriously. Ever. Get over yourself and your kids.
http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/the-feminist-fantasy-of-male-privilege/
LikeLike
Do you know what might make the future a LITTLE brighter? A Sense of Humor… and a pat on the ass every now and then ;)
LikeLike
I wish I could ‘LIKE’ this comment LOL
LikeLike
Here’s an irony for you loainedg:
Feminazis who take themselves far too seriously drive yet another nail in the coffin of women being taken seriously in this society.
LikeLike
I’m with this comment. Parading around as if your innocent of all of the tendencies natural to this generation of women is actually a disrespect to the female gender. True respect=realize that we are all just people. Isn’t that what you feminists want anyway? Equal treatment? You’d had laughed had this been about the embarasing tendencies of men. Well, go on. Laugh about yourself, lady. It will brighten up your day, and that of your apparently perfect children as well. :)
LikeLike
I’m pretty confident at least one of your daughters does this on facebook, they probably wanted to hide it from their feminist mother.
LikeLike
risstuff!
LikeLike
Are you serious? Look at your photo……….notice the pouty lips? the tilted back head? This is some seriously funny stuff! Please go buy a sense of humor somewhere! This is called humor and it’s funny because it’s true
LikeLike
I was thinking the same thing, but I’m retarded.
LikeLike
That is awesome! and agree GO Dolphins! FINS UP!!!
LikeLike
One, congrats on making the WordPress Fresh Blogs list. Two, this is funny as hell. I’m getting ready to share it… on Facebook! Well done.
LikeLike
I’m offering to translate this list to Portuguese. It’s fits perfectly with today’s situation in Brazil too!
LikeLike
Did someone other than a white person write this. I don’t think so but if this is true may God help us.
LikeLike
lol i always do the feet thing and my friends ask me why are there pictures of feet in my albums …
LikeLike
Guilty on only a few counts… But I loved it… SHARING for sure! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. :D
LikeLike
#12: usuallly has ‘+’ in between each uninteresting activity they might be pursuing that day haha
LikeLike
Too funny!
LikeLike
LOL :D but white girls don’t write weather report on facebook huh? :))
LikeLike
Hahaha! This is awesome and so freaking true. I have a friend on FB who does the “Document exceedingly mundane activites for the day” thing almost constantly. I find it kinda cute, but I still wonder why she does it. Ah FB and your penchant for drawing out the weird in people.
LikeLike
Awesome post! Congrats on being pressed freshly!
You definitely share my distaste of people on Facebook. But how could you forget duck faces!!
LikeLike
What are “duck faces?”
~ Lynda
LikeLike
You know… the pout on their lips :) It’s ridiculous.
LikeLike
Great blog
LikeLike
I’m pretty sure white girls don’t have a lock on this Facebook behavior but regardless of who is doing this, it is very true and hilarious :)
LikeLike
Haha.. Interesting post!
LikeLike
Really want to see crazy white bitches on FBook? Read “MOTHERS WHO DRINK AND SWEAR”
LikeLike
I wasn’t aware writing letters on FB was a white girl phenomenon (unless I started the trend), though I’m proud to say that I wrote so many letter statuses that I created an blog entire dedicated to it! ( http://twentysomethingwaitress.wordpress.com/ ) Thank you for the laugh!
LikeLike
Great posting about white girl postings…however I’m proud to admit that I have done some of them too! Except my feet….they look gross….and I don’t have a husband so I can’t tell everyone on FB that he rocks…but my wife is a bitch and my kids are brats so I can talk about that.
On a more serious note…keep up the awesome work!
http://khellriegel.wordpress.com/
LikeLike
taking photos of our feet. Guilty as charged :)
LikeLike
To be honest I see so many people doing these things, or at least one or two of them. I would consider that it’s more ‘what people who are bored/need an internet social life do’ rather than something unique to white girls- I can say I have done at least two of them!!!
LikeLike
BAHAHAHAHA! As a white girl, I will fully confess to taking photos of shoes and putting them on facebook. Shoes that my friends and are wearing. Guilty. haha
LikeLike
i’ve seen many girls doing these, not all of them white….hell i’ve seen guys (not all of them white) do one or two
LikeLike
no where does it say only white girls!
LikeLike
In response to the last reply: Did you not read the title of the blog before you began reading?
LikeLike
it’s exactly the way it is :P
LikeLike
Instead of making fun of them white girls…THANK THEM cause without them, YOU wouldn’t have anything to talk about!!
LikeLike
I dont know if someone already made the comment… but what about jumping pictures?? or love quotes??
LikeLike
Wow! I’l be one of the million comments left here…but this was funny! :)
LikeLike
Awesome post, I have the writing a post in another language, thing parce que je suis tres intelligent et j’aime bien montre a mes amis mon francais :P ooh yeah almost forgot I do indeed a photo of myself look extremely preppy (no make up though) a little Ralph Lauren and doing what I expect to be a cool hand sign, i think it was Hawaiin for chill out or something.
LikeLike
how are any of these behaviours limited to white girls? they are not limited to or typical of either white people or girls (of any creed) – which would be the reason people are calling racist on this post. arbitrarily assigning these charactersitics to people on the basis of their gender or ethnicity is straight-up racism regardless of how the individuals see themselves in respect of gender or ethnicity.
besides facey shows us that we all have so much in common – seen people from all backgrounds engage in the same stupid behaviour as listed above
and don’t call me white
LikeLike
you forgot the phrase “LOVE LOVE LOVE…” whatever it is they love.
LikeLike
Some are so true and crazy to not agree with. Going to share this to facebook female friends now!
LikeLike
http://elsaelsi.wordpress.com/2010/08/19/daftar-10-besar-negara-pemilik-akun-facebook/
LikeLike
LikeLike
Omgg these are all so true. I have been happily Facebook free for four months now :) I can’t stand the annoyances of Facebook.
LikeLike
This was hysterical… And definitely one of the reasons why im not a fan of facebook, however I appreciate the humor found here.
LikeLike
Hysterical and true.
LikeLike
Very good and funny post!
LikeLike
Haha Brilliant article. Loved it.
Can some of you please have a look at my articles? I have written three so far and only started my blog this week so I would appreciate some feedback and a number of readers. It would only take a few minutes. Thank you. :)
http://www.aamiraleali.wordpress.com
LikeLike
This is directed towards the first set of comments really, but are all those racist remarks really necessary? Its a stupid post, quit taking shit so seriously…RELAX AND LAUGH…it wont kill ya.
LikeLike
This is true. I agree with, yet try not to participate in #12.
LikeLike
Guilty. But since everybody (not only white girls) does it, who cares? And by the way, my feet deserve their own pictures because they keep carrying me through my insane 7-8-hour walks during which I take the million other pictures I upload :) .
LikeLike
Great post, pretty funny! Why do white girls take pictures of their feet? weird.
LikeLike
Totally agree with 10. Haha hilarious post, I am so glad this got on the front page. You should check out stfuparents.tumblr.com for hilarious facebook posts by psycho mothers.
LikeLike
I like the TMI posts “My stomach ulcer is killing me. I don’t think I’m getting out of bed today and if I do I’ll probably puke.” or the my baby is the cutest posts “My little pookie said the funniest thing today ‘cookie mama.'” Soooooo adorable.
LikeLike
Haha I totally get this!
LikeLike
I am very bad about #10. In fact, I just wrote an angry letter to Facebook today on my status, regarding the “people you may know” feature.
LikeLike
oooh and you forgot the popular asking a question and then saying “i think so!” afterwards! “chinese for dinner? i think so!”
LikeLike
Haha this was pretty, and, although a hundred people have already said it before me, this is something that everyone–even guys sometimes!-do, no matter the race. I might be guilty of the “post something in a foreign language” thing, but hey, why not if you actually KNOW the language? :D
LikeLike
Racist. Can’t see how colour of skin has anything to with the ridiculous behaviour listed on this blog entry.
LikeLike
White girls aren’t the only ones! I’m Asian living in in Asia and I’m guilty for some of those as well.
Thankfully, I deleted my Facebook account!
Excellent post, by the way!
LikeLike
hi im alex you look so nice i waa talk to you
LikeLike
Oh and the pouting! What about the silly Zoolander pouting! (sunglasses in nightclub optional during this pose!)
LikeLike
that’s called duckface
LikeLike
Great post. I see many of thrm on my facebook.
LikeLike
Funny…
LikeLike
Funny blog! I guess I’m now officially an honorary “WG” which is totally cool. I’m definitely guilty of most of these. Love, love, love #10. I write at least one “Dear lady in the red car” types of status updates at least once a month. Great stuff!
LikeLike
Great LOL for a Friday.
LikeLike
Guilty as charged…I do many of these things. Great list, it made me laugh! :)
LikeLike
Busted. So busted.
Great post, and congrats on being freshly pressed–it’s pretty fun!
LikeLike
hehe i think most girls do these things online, regardless of race. :)
LikeLike
Funny!
LikeLike